Rotator Cuff Recovery

A version of this is where I start:

http://catalog.nucleusinc.com/...bit.php?ID=9310 except I'm doing the arm straight and across the body instead of up over the shoulder.

Next, the first stretch this guy does:

http://www.youtube.com/...h?v=zumtlBtQOWw

Then I do this stretch, though one arm at a time:

www.bodyresults.com/_iexer/23DoorJambChest.JPG

finish with up the back:

http://health.yahoo.com/...se--zm2378.html

That is four stretches, done at least six times a week, each stretch held for at least thirty seconds.

The big difference? I wake up pain free in the mornings.

I put this together from the book below, which will take you from beginning to advanced and also provides exercises to do that really make a difference.

Treat Your Own Rotator Cuff by Jim Johnson (Paperback - Jan 7, 2007)

Buy new: $29.95 $21.56 23 Used & new from $21.34

Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping.

(14)

Also, thanks to Soldog:

Shoulder Savers: Part I
Shoulder Savers: Part II
Shoulder Savers: Part III
The Mobility Complex
Everything Push-Ups
Cracking the Rotator Cuff Conundrum
Short Topic: Get a Grip
The FFB Handbook
8 Weeks to Monster Shoulders


Also, for injuries and issues in general:

Neanderthal No More Part I

On Avoiding Television Appearances

If you've gone through significant grief, you can count on at least once a year being contacted by people who want to put you on television. We've been turning them down for a long time. You don't matter to them, they are just looking for a dose of pathos.

Either a news channel, for the yearly or half-yearly dose of bathos or some "good" organization that wants to stir up donors. If you let them, they will put you in front of groups, on television, and in fundraisers.

I never had the will for it. Sure, before the girls died I did television appearances for mediation. I also did a few for my friend Gary and TSR back in the day, long ago. Other stuff, sure.

But on grief, these days everyone has the message that we will say no. All in all, unless you have a cause that really means something to you, or someone you really owe, it is always best to say no. There is a blessing in not being known.

---

On the other hand, doing a television spot for something not grief related? I'm more than willing to do that sort of thing. Especially if it is to promote someone else.

---

My alternate photo, the one that is me on vacation, vs. me the rest of the year.

Responses to criticisms of the Shangri-la Diet

That much oil can't be healthy!

• The oil people take on the Shangri-la Diet is less than the oil in a large order of french fries.
• My triglycerides went from over 300 to 50, and stayed there. Obviously the net result has been quite healthy.
  

You were just lucky.

• Except, the Shangri-la Diet (SLD) calories still make a difference. At three tablespoons a day I stayed at 189 lbs for almost two years. If I cut back, I start to gain weight. When I moved back up to four tablespoons of ELOO (extra light olive oil) a day, I started to lose weight.
• Fifty years or so old is a bit old for a metabolic timing change.
  

Only calorie restriction/starving diet and exercise work!

• For 2/3 of 2.8% (that is less than 2%) of the people who are able to do a diet with strict confirmation, there is success: defined at keeping 5% or so of body weight off for a year or so.
• Compared to SLD where if you have forty or more pounds to lose, it seems to be successful for at least 75% of those who stick with it. Success = losing and keeping off thirty or more pounds.
• Compare the numbers: less than 2% vs. more than 70%.
  

But you should enjoy food!

• I do. I just feel like eating less of it, and if I eat more, my metabolism adjusts.
• I'll note that most people who are really fixiated on that point seem disordered.
• Lots of people on SLD actively seek new taste experiences.
• I'd rather not be a slave to food.
  

I could never ...

• Why not?
• It is cheap and uses things that you have around the house.
• You can even use the "midnight oil" approach and it isn't even inconvenient.

The reason almost everyone started with sugar water (two liters of water diluting a half cup of sugar) is that they had sugar around the house. Once that started working for them, they switched to oil, eventually extra light olive oil, walnut oil or flaxseed oil (for the health benefits).

It doesn't make sense!

Well, it is starting to. Seth has his theory (it was his paper on the subject that started the whole movement that resulted in the book). I personally think it has to do with the insulin cycle (which is why oil and sugar water seem to work well for the long run while protein doesn't). Taste/smell trigger the insulin cycle, without those it doesn't trigger and the body adjusts to incoming oils and sugars differently.

It is easy to try, simple, easy and cheap.

There are lots of threads about how to make the diet work better, additional things you can do, various ways to apply the principles. But just try it, remember that plateaus on SLD do not signal that failure is on the way (instead they are a natural resting point, I spent about half of my time on plateaus while I was losing weight).

Just ind a way to avoid flavor or intense food smells for two hours. In the middle, take a tablespoon of extra light olive oil, mixed with a couple tablespoons of water (oil and water don't mix, but if you drink it this way the oil slides down over the water and you don't feel it the same way). Do that for a week.

If your appetite goes down, good. If not, on week two move to two tablespoons and do that for a week. If your appetite goes down, good, if not, on week three move to three tablespoons. Repeat to up to four tablespoons of oil a day.

Adjust as needed, but make the adjustments slowly, once a week, using the same oil (your body needs time to adjust the enzymes that digest the oil, if you decide to change oils, make the change slowly). When you've lost a lot of weight, adjust the amount until you don't gain or lose weight. Then you just keep taking the right amount of oil to keep your improvements.

Yes, after about sixty or seventy pounds lost, you may need to tweak things. If you only have five or ten pounds to lose, I'm not sure it will work easily for you.

While losing weight, make sure to focus your foods on protein and vegetables so you get enough protein and enough nutrients. My secret ingredient is spring mix and carrots.

That is what I'd say if I ahd time to talk and to respond at length to the critics and the questioners. The truth is that the diet (or method, since it is more a set point adjustment method than a comprehensive diet program) works, and it works well.

Unlike a normal diet it isn't just holding your breath until nature takes over and restores equilibrium, it is freedom instead.

BTW, it is on sale at almost 70% off at Amazon right now.

The Shangri-La Diet: The No Hunger Eat Anything Weight-Loss Plan by Seth Roberts (Paperback - April 24, 2007) - Bargain Price

Buy new: List price $11.95 -- discounted to $3.99

Shangri la Diet Induction

In diet parlance, “induction” is a special regimen used to introduce a diet. South Beach, Atkins and many others have an “induction” section (at least in several iterations) which is basically designed to create dramatic initial weight loss. The alternate use of “induction” periods is for dealing with plateaus. Most of the time they are slights of hand, things like carbohydrate unloading, massive flavor and food changes that are not sustainable and not very palatable. The question is whether or not SLD should have one.

On the pro side, lots of dieters expect one.

On the con side, SLD doesn’t need one, an “induction” phase masks the fact that SLD really works, and people need to acclimate themselves to plateaus as normal rather than as signs of failure.

You can tell that the more I think about it, the more I think an induction addition to SLD isn’t necessarily a good idea and could well be a bad one.

That said, and reminding people to talk to their doctors first (!) (that is really important):

The easy induction diet goes as follows:

Breakfast:

Nose clip.

Drink water.

Drink a shake made as follows:

1/8 cup protein powder

1 cup non-fat yogurt

2 tablespoons ELOO (this will get them used to ELOO and is a breakfast with about 300 calories).

Drink water

Take nose clip off.

Lunch:

Drink water.

Drink a shake made as follows:

1/8 cup protein powder

1 cup non-fat yogurt

2 tablespoons Flax Seed oil (this will get them used to oils that have to be noseclipped, but that are high Omega 3 and is a breakfast with about 300 calories).

Drink water

Take nose clip off.

Dinner:

Drink water.

Drink a shake made as follows:

1/8 cup protein powder

1 cup non-fat yogurt

½ cup vegetable fiber (alternatives, below):

1. Pumpkin (cooked, from can)

2. Broccoli (steamed, either fresh or frozen)

3. Cauliflower (steamed, either fresh or frozen)

4. Squash (a full cup to make up for ultralow calories)

5. Green Beans (fresh, frozen, dried or canned)

6. Carrots (fresh, frozen, dried or canned)

Drink water

Take nose clip off.

Drink no flavored soft drinks. If you need caffeine, either take it by pill or by caffeine water (available all over, basically water with caffeine in it) not by coffee or tea. Take multivitamin, fish oil and calcium with vitamin d as supplements.

First two weeks, just the shakes.

Third week, on Sunday, take the ELOO nose clipped in two fingers of water.

Otherwise eat normally on Sunday.

Fourth week, on Sunday and Saturday take the ELOO nose clipped in two fingers of water.

Otherwise eat normally.

Then, take ELOO or Flax Seed oil as SLD calories, adjust as needed, eat what you feel like otherwise.

Enough protein to prevent protein wasting. All the calories eaten are SLD calories so it ought to move the set point down sharply.

Fiber to prevent problems.

Acclimation for the oil.

Repeat for stubborn plateaus.

New York was pleasant, but I'm glad to be back in Dallas

Fulfilled an obligation and read a lot. Spent a lot of time on layovers, waiting on delays for closed runways, lightning storms, etc.

New Yorkers that I met were friendly and polite. Not at all as the stereotype goes. Had drivers from three foreign countries: Brazil, Ecuador and the Bronx.

I did a lot of reflecting. But right now I'm glad to be home, so very glad to be with my family, to sleep in my own bed.

I wish you all the same.

---

BTW, quoting from the SLD boards, the real source of obesity in the United States:

TV makes you fat.

Studies have shown that TV viewing is directly associated with obesity and weight gain likely because of less physical activity and higher intake of calories. Also, the participants in the study who watched more TV also tended to eat more red meat, processed meat, snacks and sweets, and fewer fruits, vegetables and whole grains. This eating pattern, the authors state, which is directly related to advertisements and food cues appearing on TV, may adversely affect diabetes risk.

http://www.cfah.org/hbns/newsrelease/being6-24-01.cfm

How much TV children watch accurately predicts whether they will go on to become overweight, a study suggests.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4238386.stm

---

Here is a link to the video of the show I was on in New York (it is very short) -- it was nice to meet Seth and I've thought a lot.

And some comments on the show: comments (e.g. the publication the doctor cited is a student journal, some other things I did not know).

As for diets, how well do they really work: Alas, a blog, the truth ... (the number of successes looks more like 60% of 2.8%)

But what about the most successful group of dieters - those who managed to obey the seven separate diet restrictions this study called for, for all three years? (That’s a grand total of 198 dieters out of the initial group of 6,857, or 2.8%). Of this tiny, select group, 40% failed to meet this study’s extremely forgiving standard of “successful weight loss.”

---

• 10 Ways to Screw Up Your Fat Loss
• 7 Tips for Long Term Leanness
  

Being in bondage

I got this from a friend:

A poor self-image keeps us in bondage to self and makes it impossible to find true humility.

---

Also, from Seth Roberts:

This coming Wednesday (July 9), Stephen Marsh and I will be on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet to talk about the Shangri-La Diet. (In the Bay Area, this show starts at 9 am on the FOX affiliate. It lasts one hour.)

I used to feel as if I were in bondage to food, now I don't.

Fourth of July, Fifth of July, Sixth of July

First time at home for a long time.

This song has kind of come to be a second national anthem for a lot of people, and it still moves me.

---

Saw the American Girl movie last night (July third). It is set in the Great Depression and touches on all those themes. I've had times when I had nothing, not even enough food. I'm grateful for everything and for hope.

---

It is so different staying in town for this weekend, the first time we have done that in a very long time.

---

Honest Medicine

Robin, July 6, 1997 to August 31, 1997

Robin July 6, 1997 to August 31, 1997

I sit and wonder, could it really be eleven years ago that Robin was born on the sixth of July? Seems so long. In 1998 we were still in Wichita Falls. In 1999 I was starting a new job in Dallas. I'm amazed I could do it. It was only a year and a half after her death.

Now we are actually going to stay in town for a fourth of July which we have emotionally connected to Robin. I'm amazed that we are doing that. Sometimes I think I'll wake up and it will be 1992 again and Jessica and Courtney will still be alive, Robin will just be a dream of the future and I'll be in my thirties again, instead of in my fifties.

I'm glad Win made it safely back from girl's camp. I'd be lost without her. I tell her, but I don't think she realizes just how much she means to me.

I need to confess that I'm terribly weak some times

I've rarely spent very long away from my wife. I think that her filling in this week as the camp nurse at girl's camp (they lost the one they had at the very last minute) is the longest. I miss her terribly, even with cell phones. You'd think we were thirteen year-old kids instead of adults.

She also got assigned to a cabin of girls as their advisor. They are about the same age Courtney would have been.

We are also trying something new this fourth of July. We are staying in town for the first time in a very long time.

I look forward to being with friends, but I feel so weak right now. She will be home tomorrow, I'll be stronger then.

On giving advice

Remember four things when giving advice:

• The role and responsibilities of the person on the other side of the table. See the situation from their perspective.
• Your intentions -- keep them pure
• The delivery itself -- focus on tone and spirit in which advice is delivered. This is crucial.
• Summary -- close off the interaction, make sure everyone is on the same page. Whether it's a one minute conversation or four hour meeting, get some closure and action items.

An excerpt from an excellent post on how to give advice.

Actionable advice is best advice. Saying "speak up more" to someone who doesn't talk in meetings is not actionable; saying "say at least three things in the meeting" is more clearly actionable.

That is a good point to remember. Give actionable advice, actions to take rather than principles. Do it with a "because" linked to the principle. E.g. "Say at least three things in the meeting because you need to speak up more" ties together actionable advice with principle advice (and uses the because rule, that advice with the word "because" in it, is better absorbed).

My Brother Daniel

I had a nephew spending the summer working in town, and one of the best parts was telling him stories about his dad.

Apparently no one told him about when his dad played football -- and how in the last game of the season, between the only two undefeated teams left in the state, the other team tried three plays against Daniel's side of the field and ran every other play in the game the other way. Daniel's team won that game 32 to 0 with Dan stealing an interception out of the arms of a receiver in the end zone to stop the only score the other team almost made.

No one told him about the time Dan jumped into a fast running stream to save another kid's life (he was only eleven or so himself at the time). It was summer in Canada, so the water was at least forty degrees.

Or when Dan commuted to graduate school, how he carried a complete set of metric and english socket wrenches so that when he came upon people who were broken down he would be sure to have the tools he needed when he stopped to help.

Or the many hard and unfair things that both Dan and his first wife went through in their lives. They both overcame an awful lot.

Or that Daniel's profound dyslexia was not diagnosed until he was a senior in college. Academic support contacted him, hoping to help him before he flunked out. He sighed, explained it would have been nice if they had contacted him sooner, but he was about to graduate at the top of his class, so it was just a little late.

Seems his son did not know about his dad's undefeated regular season in wrestling either.

Anyway, there is an awful lot of good to say for Daniel, so I thought I'd say it, since it seems he never got around to saying it for himself.

Two blogs worth visiting

• Torture, not an option
• Torture, not an option

Hmm, I listed it twice in my links. It deserves the emphasis. For an explanation of torturing the mad bomber, see: http://www.friesian.com/valley/dilemmas.htm

and

Job's Apprentice

A mother who buried two children.

And do not forget:

Alyssa Peterson

Do that ...

So often the scriptures address what we should do. Over and over Christ told people what to do, to be doers of the word.

There is a great power in "What" -- in doing -- and it is easy to overlook.

Dr. Deb addresses that in http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com/2008/06/power-of-what.html

It is a good thing to remember.

I used to mediate a lot ...

This comic brought back memories.

Maybe I would have been more successful if I'd had coffee breaks.

Are we children?

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

When God says that, does he really mean that he is a twenty-first century American and those musty old Hebrews were just not in touch, or does he mean it the same for us as for them?

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Anyone who had talked with young children knows that they just don't think the same way that adults do. Anyone who deals with adults also realizes that they think differently than young adults do.

If God is older than two hundred years, and more than twice as smart as we are, he already is likely to think in ways that are vastly different from the ones we use.

I tend to believe that that fact hasn't changed just because we live in the twenty-first century or are Americans.

Do you know any true adults?

Small humor interlude

How to tell if you're Mom's favorite.

I've had days when I felt like that was how I fit in the world.

I'm grateful that better days seem here.

Also, the ultimate contract clause

Comparing gay marriage to interracial marriage

At the water park today we were floating past an interracial couple and someone said something (I missed exactly what it was) about them and my response was "Gee, I'd love to have that couple in my Church" which was my first thought. The other person floated off, never did catch what they meant to say.

On my mission, in the mid-70s, I was asked about interracial marriage and my comment was that there wasn't anything wrong with it. In general, the more things in common you have with your spouse, the better, and race was just one thing among many.

But this morning I was wondering if gay marriages will become in a few years what interracial marriages were fifty or sixty years ago when they still prosecuted people for them in some parts of the country (see miscegenation statutes for more on the topic) until Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967) finally put an end to that sort of thing.

I can think of gay couples I'd love to have in our Church.

---

BTW, one thing that struck me in reading Ethical Dilemmas in Church Leadership was that a survey of those in Protestant ministry reflected that 23% responded to having done something the felt was sexually inappropriate with persons other than their spouses while in the ministry. (page 68).

Made me feel sad. 12% had engaged in sexual intercourse with someone other than their spouse since entering the ministry. Those numbers are for those who are still currently Protestant ministers, with statistics drawn from an Evangelical oriented group (pastors contacted by Leadership Journal).

---

http://www.apolitical.info/webgame/plots/ for something much lighter ;)

Eleventh Article of Faith

11 We claim the ^aprivilege of marrying before the Almighty God according to the ^bdictates of our own ^cconscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them ^dmarry how, where, or what they may.

That is how a friend of mine put it.

On the other hand, we have Jane Galt's perspective.

I'd always wondered where President Gordon B. Hinckley's statement about how we would need to allow domestic partnerships played into the debate.

Quoting from the Wiki about President Hinckley:

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) demonstrated near his funeral, accusing him of having an "ambiguous voice" about the gay lifestyle rather than taking a firm stand against it. WBC members protested his weakness against homosexuals at his funeral, and further criticized the church's stance on homosexuality.^[32] One woman explained it was because he "preached that God loves all his children, including the gay ones."

They also seem especially upset that the:

president of the LDS church, President Thomas S. Monson, has stated church members can disagree politically with the church's opposition to same-sex marriage, but if the disagreement turns into an apostasy situation, that would be inappropriate.^[36] Prominent church member Harry Reid has supported same-sex marriage and has maintained good standing in the church.

Homosexuality_and_The_Church_of_Jesus_Christ_of_Latter-day_Saints

(This is my nod to what seems like mandatory blogging on the California Court decision, or maybe it should have been a commentary on the FLDS situation where the FLDS have fewer teenage girls having sex or having children than the Texas population at large. Almost an argument that there is no place in Texas safe to move the children to, other than the YFZ ranch if your goal is to prevent teens from engaging in sex or having children).

I know, I should have opinions of my own, and definite conclusions, rather than leaving it to the rest of the bloggernacle to make pronouncements. Maybe after I've had more time to sleep on it.

Psalm 34

4 I ^asought the Lord, and he ^bheard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

5 They looked unto him, and were ^alightened: and their faces were not ashamed.

6 This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.

7 The ^aangel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

8 O ^ataste and see that the Lord is ^bgood: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

---

Click on the hyperlinks for footnotes, e.g.:

4a

Lam. 3: 25. 25 The Lord is agood unto them that bwait for him, to the soul that cseeketh him. Heb. 11: 6. 6 But without afaith it is impossible to please him: for he that bcometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a crewarder of them that ddiligently eseek him. Alma 37: 37 (36-37). 37 aCounsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for bgood; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the cmorning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

b

Ps. 4: 1 (1, 3). 1 aHear me when I call, O God of my brighteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in cdistress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.

Aimee Mann, Boxing and Shrek

A singer named Aimee Mann was being interviewed on the radio this afternoon. As she talked, it came up that she had learned boxing before she made it as a singer. She said it taught her some important life lessons.

When you box, you have to stay on task and on your plan. If you get hit, you don't suddenly lose focus and just try to hit the other guy, you will just lose. No, instead you work your plan. She said she applies the same lessons when she gets cut off in a parking lot. Instead of getting diverted into anger at whoever cut her off, she focuses on her goals.

She said that staying on track is what has made her a success in her life and in music. Oh, and that let her make the music in Shrek the Third her own.

---

News links:

• Texas Supreme Court rules against CPS, Judge Walthers; when will FLDS kids go home?
• Texas Supreme Court Upholds Lower Court FLDS Ruling
• Supremes Uphold Overturning of YFZ Removal Order

I initially resisted comparisons between what the YFZ families are going through and the Indian experience of the last two centuries. Tim Giago's column makes a good case, particularly in the context of Indian boarding schools, however I still think the comparison is a strained one. An argument can be made that both the FLDS and Indians were targeted by the government due to their religion and culture, true, but one raid, however mismanaged and ham-fisted, hardly compares to 200 years of cultural genocide. The FLDS lived on that ranch because they wanted to, not because the Federal government seized their homes and herded them there. The FLDS are considered human beings under the law, a distinction not bestowed on Indians until 1879. Family members who objected to the removal of their children were not indiscriminately mowed down by Army howitzers.

The quoted author has an excellent point, there have been terrible injustices that are still on-going in our world.

Random Musings

More fat women than fat men go to water parks. Especially with the young, no one cares, which is kind of neat. Bikinis are just normal wear. If you aren't at BYU, a tankini is considered extremely modest. Last three times to waterparks in the past couple of years, I saw no speedos. That is an improvement. Everyone wears what we used to call surf jammers (long shorts that go to the knees for guys). Even girls are starting to wear them.

We observed Memorial Day at church Sunday. Bishop Benson talked about his grandfather, who was born in the late 1800s, like my grandfather Mylonas. He talked about how he would listen to stories about World War I and how his grandfather rode a horse (he was in the artillery). About how when his grandfather talked to others, the thing he remembered most was the fear, the death and the terror of war. How when his sons went off to war in World War II he cried and wished he could go for them to keep them from it.

There is so much we have to be grateful for, much more than waterparks and people who accept each other. Though it was neat to see people who didn't seem to care about race or fat or a lot of other things, just having fun together.

Bishop Benson's grandfather would have been pleased to see that.

Reasons // Social Networks

It’s not the pattern of the Lord to give reasons. We can put reasons to commandments. When we do we’re on our own.

1988 Elder Dallin H. Oaks

There is a lot of sense in looking towards acceptance rather than explanation. In grief, so many explanations others will give you are facile, shallow, self serving and harmful.

---

I'll also note that a co-worker convinced me to put a profile on Facebook.

Other than family, I'm not friending anyone who isn't my age, but it did get me back in contact with some old friends. Interesting experience. Another one I'm facing with acceptance rather than explanation.

My web site is adrr.com and I'm a part of the JRCLS.

My weightlifting log is at t-nation.

Finally, of course, I group blog at Mormon Matters.

What kinds of social networks do you belong to outside of the bloggernacle?

Betrayal

I end up talking with people on this theme several times a year.

• a mother whose only boy has died, and who can't have any other children, and who feels betrayed that God has left her without sons;
• a father whose wife has become an alcoholic and whose children are losing their way;
• someone whose interaction with food has gone terribly wrong and who can't stop gaining weight;
• people recovering from disasters who feel that calamity should not have befallen them;
• a kid who wants to serve a mission but who has developing mental illness issues that medication doesn't quite resolve;
  
• the list goes on.

Affliction, especially affliction that seems permanent or life altering, causes a number of emotions. A sense of loss, pain, hopelessness, bereavement and others. Bitterness and betrayal seem to be two of the hardest to deal with. In some situations (such as a spouse who has an attack of the "middle aged crazy" or who has been unfaithful) the emotion seems unavoidable.

Many people who have read my blog know that I've been reading 12-step literature in the hope that it would apply to grief. It does, a little, sometimes. I've written about that too.

But, and this is a big but, there is one area where there is a 12-step group that has feelings of betrayal and resentment down cold. That group is Al Anon. Al Anon is a group for people who have an alcoholic in the family (one of the sub-groups is for kids who have to deal with an alcoholic parent). They have a lot of literature. But, a constant theme, over and over again, is dealing with feelings of betrayal, resentment and the need to control someone else.

This is especially true when people feel betrayed by God in what has happened to them.

Yes, I'd advocate anyone with those emotions to seek counseling. But, you can read things (e.g. here on the official site, and an excellent collection of essays on-line here). No matter what is causing the feelings (and alcoholics often are unfaithful, mentally ill, betrayers -- that is all part of the disease), they have an excellent tool set to help you while a professional gives you additional support.

No question, I value The Anatomy of Peace. But if you need more, there are books like One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (available for 12 cents or so used on Amazon and probably in your local library) that can help with the emotional states, to give you encouragement and hope in dealing with the pain, confusion and anguish.

That can help you find peace.

---

For some "middle age crazy" links:

• http://www.hubbynet.com/middleage.htm
• http://blog.middleagedmale.com/
• http://morgansher.blogspot.com/
• http://www.metrolyrics.com/middle-aged-crazy-lyrics-jerry-lee-lewis.html
• http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081157/
• http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Middle-Age-Crazy-lyrics-Tom-Jones/
  

Checking traffic, misc. thoughts.

[this post was moved out of order, but was written 7/13/2008]

I was looking at the top search engine terms that got people to adrr.com and found the following:

Top 20 of 6030 Total Search Strings
#	Hits		Search String
1	321	3.03%	what makes a hero
2	237	2.24%	joint custody
3	151	1.43%	shared custody
4	94	0.89%	dire wolf
5	91	0.86%	sword makers
6	88	0.83%	death of a child
7	86	0.81%	loss of a child
8	79	0.75%	what is mediation
9	78	0.74%	fathers day talks
10	60	0.57%	heroquest
11	51	0.48%	diablo gif
12	50	0.47%	verbal self defense
13	49	0.46%	prayers of the faithful
14	46	0.43%	lycanthrope
15	46	0.43%	mediation
16	45	0.42%	adr
17	45	0.42%	fathers day talk
18	42	0.40%	joint physical custody
19	39	0.37%	father's day talk
20	37	0.35%	tangible resources

I'm running about nine thousand pages a day, 180,000 or so a month (or 372860 or so hits a month, about two hits per page, the site is graphics light). Surprised me, did the fact that significant referrers to my site come from a Russian and French language locations.

As far as I can tell, not much of the traffic is coming from search engines. The old analysis system told me more than the new one does, though it has a lot of information (such as the fact that the average visitor hits 3 to 5 pages a visit).

Hits	Files	Pages	Visits	Sites	KBytes	Visits	Pages	Files	Hits
Jul 2008	11328	9321	5612	1672	10853	1295324	21738	72966	121179	147269
Jun 2008	12428	9926	6173	1792	29571	3199966	53761	185215	297794	372860
May 2008	13648	10632	6894	2099	31955	3673124	65085	213723	329603	423094
Apr 2008	13218	10202	6264	2094	30931	3273145	62826	187948	306063	396551

Wish I knew what it all means.

Well, I guess if I leave it alone, it will leave me alone ;)

Monthly Statistics for June 2008
Total Hits	372860
Total Files	297794
Total Pages	185215
Total Visits	53761
Total KBytes	3199966
Total Unique Sites	29571

.. bruise too easily ...

I bruise you
You bruise me
We both bruise too easily
Too easily, to let it show

I was going to write a post about how easy it is to bruise each other. Mother's Day can be a land mine like that. So many people whose parents are dead or estranged, too many mothers whose childen are dead or lost or who have never been born.

But that is really someone else's post. Instead I got to thinking about the people I've bruised. I remember an incident with Popcorn Popping (for example). Just because I had good cause did not mean I had sufficient cause. Which is why, in the end, I owed the other side an apology [see here].

I've been thinking about things like that recently. I've had a troll for a while. Tried to engage him, to see if I could get him past the incoherent insults. I suspect that whatever has made him upset with me, part (or all) of it is my fault. Which means I should apologize.

Anyway, today I reached out and apologized to someone I had bruised, and thanked someone who had given me useful criticism that helped me do better (and who was afraid they had bruised me).

Better yet, I was able to have dinner with my mother, without any bruising at all.

Sure sounds like a squirrel to me

A pastor was candidating at a local church [and] was asked to share with the fourth-grade-boys class ....
"What is brown and furry, has a long tail, loves nuts and climbs trees?"
Jimmy shot his arm into the air right after the pastor had finished asking the question.
"I know, I know the answer," he shouted.
"Tell us the answer, Jimmy" said the pastor.
"The answer is Jesus," he said with a slight pause, "but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."
When it sounds like a squirrel, will we have the wisdom to say so?

I've been doing a fair amount of reading in ethics and philosophy the past couple years. I'm starting to get where I've read enough that I'm getting an idea of what I want to read. But I am finally learning when things sound like a squirrel.

Great Short Story

On-line, for free, by Suzette Haden Elgin:

http://ozarque.livejournal.com/521967.html

What is really interesting is the vastly different things people take away from the story.

(It is related to Communipath Worlds, three novels she wrote in the early 70s that are still readable today. If you got to her by reading her Laadan feminist science fiction, you probably don't know that she wrote some early works that are still very readable today).

---

Also, just in from a link on The Mormon Archipelago:

Church Publications in Compressed Audio Format (including all of the scriptures)

Free.

Misc. links on lawyering

• why legal education is done as an advanced degree ...
• The Future of the Legal Academy - Some Thoughts
• a "bimodal" income distribution
• a professor sues his students ...
• The Great Attributional Divide: How Divergent Views of Human Behavior are Shaping Legal Policy
• What are the benefits of the joint degree?
  

I enjoyed law school, much to the surprise of some of my fellow students. I like thinking about the law and I like practicing law. Of course today was a great day (I got two summary judgments today). But day in, day out I enjoy being a lawyer. I don't blog much about my job because there isn't much to say. I really like my boss, my co-workers are great and the work load is pretty close to ideal. I even get to walk my little girl to school almost every morning.

As a result, I'm a little biased as a source of advice or perspective, so I thought I'd share the links above for a counterpoint.

Shakespeare "In the Original Klingon"

Shakespeare "In the Original Klingon" is a project I got started on once.

What is fun, someone has taken it a step further: Klingon Shakespeare Restoration Project.

The Klingon Hamlet by Lawrence Schoen and Klingon Language Institute (Paperback - Feb 1, 2000)

Even better is: Shakespeare in the Bush

and

Hamlet @Web English Teacher

Guess I should be more reverent with the classics, but I love them none-the-less.

Updates, two and a half years on the Shangri La Diet

For posts on the diet, click on Shangri-la Diet

The diet still works for me. That is my "after" photograph, taken when I reached 189 pounds. I've been at (or below) that weight for two years now, down from about 245. It still works. The only real lasting change I've made is that I've quit eating sugar with my yogurt. While losing weight, I would eat three cups of non-fat yogurt a day, flavored with sugar -- between half a cup and a cup of sugar a day. After reading Taubes, I suddenly found myself unwilling to eat sugar, so I've been doing without it since. Does not seem to have made a difference, and I've learned to like the flavor of unsweetened yogurt.

I take a couple ounces of water and three or so tablespoons of extra light olive oil once a day. No flavors for an hour before or after I take it. It depresses my set point and my weight and appetite take care of themselves. If I exercise at a high intensity two-three times a week, I drop the oil back to two tablespoons a day. I had some "failures" in taking the oil in the middle of the night, but all of those occurred on vacations. Since then I've discovered that in normal life the middle of the night works as well as any other time. The water just makes it much easier to drink the oil without gagging.

Before SLD (Shangri La Diet) I ate probably three times as much food as I do now and enjoyed it less. Taubes-style eating is low carbohydrate, but not ultra-low carbohydrate (i.e. I'm basically skipping sugar and white flour and replacing it with mixed salads and low glycemic index fruits).

For people who are interested in trying SLD, I recommend that they pick up a large container of extra light (less flavor) olive oil (referred to as ELOO) at Costco or SAMS. Pick up a measuring cup at a pharmacy or find a tablespoon measure at the house. For the first week, pour an ounce of water in a cup and a tablespoon of ELOO. Drink some water before bedtime and when you wake up in the middle of the night, swirl it and then drink it down, go back to sleep. If you start losing weight, you've hit the right dose. If not, in week two add another tablespoon. Keep adding until you start losing weight.

There are lots of other ways to approach it, different oils to try, lots of things that you can do. However, olive oil improves your cholesterol, will help with your triglycerides and has other health benefits. It is also easy to find and reasonable in price and doesn't require any strange gymnastics to drink (people are out there who use fresh pressed flax oil, nose clips and such in order to take it without any flavor -- the same with fish oils, coconut oil, etc. ELOO works well and is good for you).

If you take the slow approach your body will adjust to the ELOO (it takes different enzymes for your body to digest different oils. Just because you have a big mac and french fries every day -- and get more oil than three tablespoons of ELOO, don't think you can switch immediately).

Anyway, that is how the Shangri La Diet is working for me. Pretty much an automated part of the background in my life these days. So if you were wondering if it was like the usual diet people blog about (i.e. lots of excitement, success, and then it fails and they quit talking about it and move on to something else) or if it had just gotten boring (hey, it works, but after a year or two of "it works" and my weight is at a good place, what is there to say), the answer is "it has become normal" so blogging about it almost feels like mentioning that I was breathing today.

Old news. Unless you are trying to lose weight. Then I'd suggest you give it a try. Nothing I've ever done was as simple or as effective -- or worked long term, year after year.

• http://ethesis.blogspot.com/2007/01/comments-on-weight-shangri-la-etc.html
• http://ethesis.blogspot.com/2006/11/shangri-la-diet-after-one-year-and-70.html
• Happy Birthday, SLD

"A McDonald's large order of fries is 30g of fat. Add one of the big sandwiches, such as the Quarter Pounder, or the Big Mac, and you're adding another 25 - 30 grams of fat. So one of these meals is more than twice what you'd get in the 2 T. ELOO you take on SLD. And that doesn't even address the quality of the fat. Tell your mom to relax. Good luck!

T-Vix"

"I'm not afraid to die," she said

My buddy about died when his wife broke it to him that she needed more tests with that phrase. She thought she had metastasized ovarian cancer. Turns out it was a false positive and she is fine.

He asked me about it, and honestly, I'm not sure I disagree with her approach. Glad they are ok, she was awfully young (guess she still is rather young).

Call the judge, I'm going to be late, my car is on fire

That was me to my office today.

First I get rear-ended (I'm in the middle of a five car pile-up, stopped for traffic).

Next, after the delay for the police and the information exchange, as I drive off, my car starts on fire.

Then, someone calls in and gives the dispatcher a "better" address -- one eight blocks away from where I just told them I was.

So, I call back and insist that I, watching my car burn, have a better idea of where my car is than the mystery caller.

Sigh. Who would have known that rear-ending a Volvo could cause it to catch on fire.

My knee hurts, my back hurts, I'm ok, but I'm going to bed.

At least the judge was understanding. Oh, and the legal file survived, though it is kind of wet and smells of smoke. My tolltag got cooked, so it is being replaced. I suspect that my car will not be revived.

/Sigh. At least it makes a funny story.

An establishment of religion?

Now, we understand that the FLDS prayers are to be monitored by members of the LDS (Mormon) Church. This betrays the Court's absolute and oblivious ignorance of the faith and cultural idiosyncrasies of the families it is so forcibly displacing. It would be like having a Catholic priest monitor the prayers of the members of a Jewish synagogue. (The LDS Church doesn't want anything to do with modern day practitioners of polygamy, actively excommunicates its own members who practice polygamy, and has categorically denied that "Fundamentalist Mormons" even exist.)

From http://pluralwife.blogspot.com/

I'd say it is rather like requiring all Lutheran prayers to be supervised by a Catholic Priest (not that I haven't known some good ones, including my aunt's brother).

I think she has it right, one religious group ought not to be supervising the prayers of another.

I remain terribly conflicted.

Restless Heart

About twenty years ago or so (in 1990) I bought my wife a CD.
Wheels by Restless Heart

This last Friday we were able to see them in concert (they've done a reunion tour). How close did we get to the band, someone asked, when I said we were close enough to touch the stage. Close enough to get a "high five" from a band member, close enough that the thump from the base came from behind instead of in front. It is actually not as loud that close as it is far away.

It was so much fun to be with my wife. I'd wanted to catch them in concert, and it was nice to have the chance. When I realized that the parking was comp'ed I almost felt like I was stealing (the tickets were $20.00 each).

Nice to be out with memories and someone I love so very much.

---

As an aside, Jessica had the bluest eyes in Texas. That song always makes me think of her.

7. The Bluest Eyes In Texas

Conflicted

I can be conflicted at times. The recent FLDS in West Texas story, for example.

On the one hand it is a genetic mess, from the DNA up. Inbreeding, incest, and all the rest. I feel an atavistic horror for what they have created when I think about it.

On the other hand, in the past the mass raids resulted in many of the people returning to the lifestyle or leading broken lives. I know from having served as an ad litem that there are many, many hardworking and good CPS people. At the same time, I also know that once a kid is in the system, the chance that they will be exploited, sexually abused and turned into a displaced person can be very, very high.

In addition, huge parts of the culture in Texas (and other places) now feature "Baby Daddies" -- that is an older man who has impregnated someone, but who doesn't have much of a relationship, probably pays no child support. The girl (most are younger teens) will often have children by several baby daddies before she is old enough to graduate high school. The men, all older by almost a generation, will have multiple mothers of their children.

Nothing is being done to end that cycle. Laced with drugs, exploited girls, broken family units and multiple STDs, it looks even worse than the FLDS mess.

But does that mean that the FLDS should have a free pass to exploit and discard children? As Paul would say, God forbid. But is this the best way to intervene or the fairest?

I'm at a loss for a bottom line, other than to be terribly sad.

I may be a lawyer in Texas, but that doesn't mean I have any answers that are better than what others have had to say. Sometimes all I know is that I don't at present know the best answer.

For others writing on the topic:

• Mormon Matters
• Grits for Breakfast (an ACLU type lawyer)
• The Local Crank
• The Polygamist Files,
• The Polygamy Files
• Messenger and Advocate
• Trent Nelson, Photojournalist
• Texas Polygamy
• PolygTalk
• Some Thoughts on the FLDS

See also Beds and Temples from an ex-FLDS member.

Love Without End, Amen

He said let me tell you a secret about a father's love

A secret that my daddy said was just between us

You see daddy's don't just love their children every now and then

It's a love without end, amen It's a love without end, amen

George Strait

That song resonates for me when I think of my children.

What songs catch your memory or your heart when you hear them?

12,000 hits a day

My website runs 12,000 hits a day (well, averages somewhat more, before correcting upward for caching, but rounding down is always safe). My blog runs 4.5k page views a month at its absolute best (closer to 3.0k on a normal month).

But the blog seems to reach some people that it helps, the website just kind of runs along. Glad I'm not generating revenue, so I find that hits don't matter as much as they might, it is more about who I reach that needed it.

Interesting, because when I started blogging, I saw blogging as a once a month or less endeavor, a way to taper off a hand coded blogish sort of thing I started September 16, 1997. I was pretty ragged then, I often consider going back and cleaning up the entries, but smoothing them out seems as if it robs them of the immediacy and the reality that they had.

Interesting to look back. In 1997 I never would have imagined I'd be blogging like I am now. Heck, the word blog wasn't around yet, none-the-less the Bloggernacle.

---

The term "weblog" was coined by Jorn Barger^[39] on 17 December 1997. The short form, "blog," was coined by Peter Merholz, who jokingly broke the word weblog into the phrase we blog in the sidebar of his blog Peterme.com in April or May of 1999.^[40][41][42] This was quickly adopted as both a noun and verb ("to blog," meaning "to edit one's weblog or to post to one's weblog").

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog#History

Poofs, Snoofs, Loofs and Plosers-- advice

loof

A loof is a cross between a loser and a doof.

Example: I definitely don't want to be a loof.

(A good alternative term seemed like Ploser, since I don't see it registering much in search engines, except that with an umlaut it is a name.)

Some people are so pathetic that when they are hostile, or attempt to be cruel, or say terribly stupid or callous things, all I feel is pity for them.

I used to call them poofs, as in terminally lightweight. Unfortunately, the word has a more common meaning (which I learned in my forties -- I should have watched more Monty Python), so I've been looking for a replacement. I was going to steal the word snoof, but I discovered it had some well established meanings as well.

But loof, which I ran across while looking at the other words, "a cross between a loser and a doof" pretty much catches it.

When your child has just died and someone comes up to you and says "It seems bad to you, but while I have a seven figure income, my second wife just left me, my life is much worse and you should spend some time being sorry for me rather than wasting your sorrow on your loss" (which really happened to me), instead of getting angry or upset or taking it to heart, you should think to yourself, "What a loof, he is right, if he is that shallow and self-centered his life is much worse than mine."

Some people can find that by realizing that most people are "children of God" -- not rational, responsible adults -- and by thinking of them as just having made a mess in their diapers whenever they do something terribly insensitive, it just doesn't bother you any where near as much. "Don't take him seriously" I said of one such guy, "He's just a poof."

Now that I know about the other meaning of the word, and have a good replacement, when someone comes to me in anguish, I can say instead "Don't take him seriously, he's just a loof." With a full diaper.

---

BTW, loof has a secondary meaning, it is the Israeli equivalent of spam, canned mystery meat, but Kosher. I don't think the secondary meaning hurts it at all.

My faith in piercings continues ...

For what it is worth, I have always gotten better than average service from people with piercings.

The latest was at the Apple Store. My iPod died after a number of crashes. I suspect a lose internal coupling (since it came back to life in the middle of their checking it out when it got dropped on the counter). But they took excellent care of me, replaced it with an identical, but new, iPod and were professional and polite. As such things go, an excellent experience.

Strange, but everyone on the service end had lots of piercings, which actually made me feel calmer, given my experiences.

Best April 1 post I've seen so far:

http://cnnentertainment.co.nr/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/01
and
http://peoplemagazine.co.nr/people/article/008675309

Page is very slow loading.

DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) -- In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist "Snoop Dogg" has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith.

Snoop Dogg says he "can't get enough of the Book of Mormon."

In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg -- whose real name is Calvin Broadus -- said he considers himself extremely fortunate to have discovered such a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment at this stage in his life.

“Mr. Broadus is also very pleased to find that his family is as enthusiastic about attending church services as he is,” the spokeswoman said.

However, Snoop Dogg has not been enthusiastic about publicly sharing his experience and declined to be interviewed by CNN for this article. In fact, he reportedly informed producers of his E! reality show "Snoop Dogg's Father Hood" that this particular aspect of his family's life was off-limits to the cameras. Still, he left open the possibility of addressing the subject in future episodes.

According to the Associated Press, Snoop Dogg was first introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the Mormon Church is officially known, after attending a Gladys Knight concert in an LDS meeting house in Los Angeles.

Knight, who very publicly discusses her conversion to Mormonism several years ago, invited Snoop Dogg to what is known to the Mormon faithful as “Family Home Evening,” a church program that encourages families to set aside Monday evenings for gospel-centered lessons and family togetherness.

Though Snoop Dogg has been hesitant to publicly discuss his recent spiritual journey, he commented on the experience of attending his first “Family Home Evening” in a recent interview with People Magazine.

“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”