I blog on negotiation and related topics at http://srmarsh.com/ Recently I've had updates about free MCLE (that is continuing education for lawyers) webcasts, free books from the University of California on dispute resolution and teaching integrity as a skill.
Been busy all the way around.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Sunday, September 30, 2007
So, since law school, recent events, Arbinger
After law school I ended up working locally for a year or so, met my wife, got a job in Texas, got married and spent about fifteen years in Wichita Falls, Texas. It was very kind to us and the people there were delightful. I first employer retired and left the state and I ended up in a practice group that I really enjoyed. We only moved because we could no longer take living in a city where we had buried so many children, but we return from time to time.
In Dallas we bought a house near some friends (their daughter was Jessica's best friend and we went to her bat mitzvah), I commuted down 75 to work while the construction continued, and became an equity partner at the firm inside of six months. I eventually left for a life style that let me work only five days a week and walk my youngest to school almost every morning. I engage in "almost HIT" weight lifting (I recently took about eight-nine months off to deal with some rotator cuff injuries I had in Judo -- though I did win a second place at a tournament before that happened), long walks with my wife and a bit of blogging.
I keep trying to write. Most of what I end up writing is motions for summary judgment. A judge kind of makes me think of peer review with a vengeance, though I consciously write in a style that attempts to make the conclusions seem simple and obvious. It takes a lot of drafts and I have Blake Hyde to thank for teaching me a lot in that regards.
A dream job, if I'm not already in it, would be teaching negotiation, ethics and ADR -- I've enjoyed teaching, but I really would like more time to research and to write. I've published about forty times, mostly accessible material, though I had one article that has the strangest last couple-three footnotes (no one warned me that they didn't want 100 or more footnotes, but the editor really liked the article, so they solved the problem by compressing the last few footnotes together).
I've become convinced that integrity is a skill that you teach rather than an attribute, though in our current environment it is often just a matter of luck. I think integrity needs to be taught as a skills set, in connection with the appropriate rules.
My parents live down the street from me. My mom is thinking of selling her house when my dad dies (he is doing worse physically, but a lot better mentally since my sister-in-law Michelle came for a visit. As I told her, she is an angel who saved his life, at least for a while). He is in the end stages of Parkinson's, but medication now lets him sleep most of the day and he often has two or three good hours. We take turns with him on Sundays, today was my day and it was a real pleasure.
Much of what we do is try to provide a normal life for our children. The youngest knows that she has three sisters who died, but it does not cast a shadow over her life. It is hard when we see her playing soccer. Her hair has grown out again and even in much different team colors it brings back a lot of memories. But it is also creating new memories, and both old and new memories are very sweet to me.
As an after word, I've been reading Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box and I've noticed one small problem with it.
I find it terribly easy to look at blaming behavior, complaining, hurt feelings, anger and such and
see them as manifestations of "being in the box" or as symptoms of self deception. As a result, the response to many of those types of behavior is to encourage people to get over their self deception rather than look at their claimed problems. I can see that as appropriate, yet not satisfying. It really does give me a different perspective on some sorts of complaints, and I'm still thinking about it.
That aside, (as I'm not sure it is really a problem) I do like the fact that the book promotes the idea that leaders have to change themselves to change those they deal with, rather than inflicting change on others in order to manipulate them -- and makes that obvious and inescapable. I suspect Covey would be appalled at the number of times his principles are endorsed and promoted by leaders who have no intent of following Covey's precepts themselves (and the worker bees the consultants preach to can tell that) -- all because those using them don't get the fact that the change has to come from the top. In Leadership and Self Deception it is inescapable that the only place that change is effective is from the top.
That is revolutionary.
Thanks again Naiah.
In Dallas we bought a house near some friends (their daughter was Jessica's best friend and we went to her bat mitzvah), I commuted down 75 to work while the construction continued, and became an equity partner at the firm inside of six months. I eventually left for a life style that let me work only five days a week and walk my youngest to school almost every morning. I engage in "almost HIT" weight lifting (I recently took about eight-nine months off to deal with some rotator cuff injuries I had in Judo -- though I did win a second place at a tournament before that happened), long walks with my wife and a bit of blogging.
I keep trying to write. Most of what I end up writing is motions for summary judgment. A judge kind of makes me think of peer review with a vengeance, though I consciously write in a style that attempts to make the conclusions seem simple and obvious. It takes a lot of drafts and I have Blake Hyde to thank for teaching me a lot in that regards.
A dream job, if I'm not already in it, would be teaching negotiation, ethics and ADR -- I've enjoyed teaching, but I really would like more time to research and to write. I've published about forty times, mostly accessible material, though I had one article that has the strangest last couple-three footnotes (no one warned me that they didn't want 100 or more footnotes, but the editor really liked the article, so they solved the problem by compressing the last few footnotes together).
I've become convinced that integrity is a skill that you teach rather than an attribute, though in our current environment it is often just a matter of luck. I think integrity needs to be taught as a skills set, in connection with the appropriate rules.
My parents live down the street from me. My mom is thinking of selling her house when my dad dies (he is doing worse physically, but a lot better mentally since my sister-in-law Michelle came for a visit. As I told her, she is an angel who saved his life, at least for a while). He is in the end stages of Parkinson's, but medication now lets him sleep most of the day and he often has two or three good hours. We take turns with him on Sundays, today was my day and it was a real pleasure.
Much of what we do is try to provide a normal life for our children. The youngest knows that she has three sisters who died, but it does not cast a shadow over her life. It is hard when we see her playing soccer. Her hair has grown out again and even in much different team colors it brings back a lot of memories. But it is also creating new memories, and both old and new memories are very sweet to me.
As an after word, I've been reading Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box and I've noticed one small problem with it.
I find it terribly easy to look at blaming behavior, complaining, hurt feelings, anger and such and
see them as manifestations of "being in the box" or as symptoms of self deception. As a result, the response to many of those types of behavior is to encourage people to get over their self deception rather than look at their claimed problems. I can see that as appropriate, yet not satisfying. It really does give me a different perspective on some sorts of complaints, and I'm still thinking about it.
That aside, (as I'm not sure it is really a problem) I do like the fact that the book promotes the idea that leaders have to change themselves to change those they deal with, rather than inflicting change on others in order to manipulate them -- and makes that obvious and inescapable. I suspect Covey would be appalled at the number of times his principles are endorsed and promoted by leaders who have no intent of following Covey's precepts themselves (and the worker bees the consultants preach to can tell that) -- all because those using them don't get the fact that the change has to come from the top. In Leadership and Self Deception it is inescapable that the only place that change is effective is from the top.
That is revolutionary.
Thanks again Naiah.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The random effect of memory
There are times when the echoes of memory catch me so short. Little things, like fabric softener. Jessica was allergic to it, so we quit using fabric softener. After she died, eventually we started using it again, not to mention the advertisements and the times you can smell it on the wash of others. Usually it passes me by, but sometimes it catches me unaware.
I live with many memories, some very precious, most very happy. But sometimes, in grief, the strangest things are bittersweet.
I live with many memories, some very precious, most very happy. But sometimes, in grief, the strangest things are bittersweet.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
My law school experience
I was studying before class, in the class room, while another student played Chopin. Pleasant enough music to study by. He stopped, looked at me and said "you really enjoy law school, don't you?" Enjoyment was really my law school experience.
Much of it was because I found it mentally rewarding and did not feel stressed about employment. When I started I had been offered a job and had a place I intended to work when I graduated. Over the summer after my first year I went and worked there and really enjoyed it, and was pleased to watch the business continue to improve (sales tripled every year until the year they hit 27 million dollars in sales).
I took tax classes because I liked tax, the same for antitrust and a number of other classes. While I got off to a rough start, by the end of law school I had brought my GPA up to between the top third and the top 40% (we didn't have precise class standings), had taken time to tutor English Writing across the street for relaxation and I got a position clerking for the Utah County District Attorney.
Then my friends lost control of their own company, I got a rather nasty letter in the mail withdrawing the job offer I had already accepted and I found myself, rather late in the day, looking for work.
I probably should have taken the chance to convert the job at the D.A.'s office to a full-time job, but I had a friend who really needed a job, so I resigned mine so he would get hired (and he got a job to support himself and family). But that really isn't talking about law school any more.
I really enjoyed law school. I'm sad Ray Davis died so early, I'd have loved to have seen him at the reunion, and wish Gene Jacobs were in better health, I'd have liked to have seen him one last time. But law school was a great experience for me, even if I enjoyed it perhaps a bit too much.
Now I'm still trying to find time to write a book on negotiation, to expand my generalized conflict theory (cf http://adrr.com/adr4/ppp.htm -- for a collection of links to essays that sets out my approach) and to go back and rewrite all of http://adrr.com/ to remove the typos and mistakes that crept in with the software and approach I used to put the site together. There is just never enough time.
But I still enjoy life.
Much of it was because I found it mentally rewarding and did not feel stressed about employment. When I started I had been offered a job and had a place I intended to work when I graduated. Over the summer after my first year I went and worked there and really enjoyed it, and was pleased to watch the business continue to improve (sales tripled every year until the year they hit 27 million dollars in sales).
I took tax classes because I liked tax, the same for antitrust and a number of other classes. While I got off to a rough start, by the end of law school I had brought my GPA up to between the top third and the top 40% (we didn't have precise class standings), had taken time to tutor English Writing across the street for relaxation and I got a position clerking for the Utah County District Attorney.
Then my friends lost control of their own company, I got a rather nasty letter in the mail withdrawing the job offer I had already accepted and I found myself, rather late in the day, looking for work.
I probably should have taken the chance to convert the job at the D.A.'s office to a full-time job, but I had a friend who really needed a job, so I resigned mine so he would get hired (and he got a job to support himself and family). But that really isn't talking about law school any more.
I really enjoyed law school. I'm sad Ray Davis died so early, I'd have loved to have seen him at the reunion, and wish Gene Jacobs were in better health, I'd have liked to have seen him one last time. But law school was a great experience for me, even if I enjoyed it perhaps a bit too much.
Now I'm still trying to find time to write a book on negotiation, to expand my generalized conflict theory (cf http://adrr.com/adr4/ppp.htm -- for a collection of links to essays that sets out my approach) and to go back and rewrite all of http://adrr.com/ to remove the typos and mistakes that crept in with the software and approach I used to put the site together. There is just never enough time.
But I still enjoy life.
Australians
Ok, I know that they are not all perfect, but I've had the good luck to encounter a number who were just great sorts. No, that doesn't mean the Saab driving blond in the theater department I had a crush on when I was much younger (well, it includes her too), but I've had the luck of meeting a number of of Australians whose charm went beyond their accents.
This week, on the flight back from my reunion I got to sit next to Cactus Jack* who had just gotten married in Salt Lake (12 hours before) and was on his way to another business meeting. He recommended some great books (I've ordered them through Amazon.com) and told me about how he and his fiancée had read Rough Stone Rolling to get some background on Utah, and how he had enjoyed the book.
I smiled when he said he was "just a carpenter" -- the two guys who introduced my wife and I to each other worked as carpenters and I've a brother-in-law who got his start in the skilled trades as a carpenter. The only time I worked construction I was a carpenter's helper.
Anyway, some groups just seem to export well (English and Australians for example) and make your day a little brighter when you meet someone from that group.
What has made your day a little brighter?
* That is the name on his business card.
http://www.kkmachinery.com.au/
http://mobilight.com/
This week, on the flight back from my reunion I got to sit next to Cactus Jack* who had just gotten married in Salt Lake (12 hours before) and was on his way to another business meeting. He recommended some great books (I've ordered them through Amazon.com) and told me about how he and his fiancée had read Rough Stone Rolling to get some background on Utah, and how he had enjoyed the book.
I smiled when he said he was "just a carpenter" -- the two guys who introduced my wife and I to each other worked as carpenters and I've a brother-in-law who got his start in the skilled trades as a carpenter. The only time I worked construction I was a carpenter's helper.
Anyway, some groups just seem to export well (English and Australians for example) and make your day a little brighter when you meet someone from that group.
What has made your day a little brighter?
* That is the name on his business card.
http://www.kkmachinery.com.au/
http://mobilight.com/
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Notes from the reunion, questions
I really enjoyed the reunion and the trip to Utah. We got to see Heather (our nineteen year-old at BYU), old friends (including the two guys who set us up and made sure we met), and I ended up giving away copies of The Bottom Line On Integrity and How to Turn the Other Cheek and Still Survive in Today's World and Negotiation Genius -- a book I liked better the second time I read it (now I have to wait for it to go on sale to get another copy of it for myself).
We also ended up giving away our BYU v. Air Force tickets so we could spend the time in what turned out to be better ways (though I still have not watched a football game live at BYU).
It was neat to see how people were doing. Jim Layton, who I've always thought well of, really seems to fit the image of what the law school hoped to see happen with its graduates. Bonnie Esplin, who I always admired, was doing well, though she missed the dinner (she did update me on a lot of people, classmates who had died, those who had lost children, lots more).
And then there were the people I've always enjoyed. Jack Welch, Wes Yamashita, Spencer Robinson, Jeff Salisbury and so many more. I picked up loads of e-mail addresses and had a great time seeing family in the area and visiting friends. I can only wish I had more time, there are more people I wish I'd had time to see.
Guess I can always visit that way again. I love the mountains, especially this time of year and it was wonderful to see people I like and to hope they were doing very well.
What kind of memories do you have of places and people?
We also ended up giving away our BYU v. Air Force tickets so we could spend the time in what turned out to be better ways (though I still have not watched a football game live at BYU).
It was neat to see how people were doing. Jim Layton, who I've always thought well of, really seems to fit the image of what the law school hoped to see happen with its graduates. Bonnie Esplin, who I always admired, was doing well, though she missed the dinner (she did update me on a lot of people, classmates who had died, those who had lost children, lots more).
And then there were the people I've always enjoyed. Jack Welch, Wes Yamashita, Spencer Robinson, Jeff Salisbury and so many more. I picked up loads of e-mail addresses and had a great time seeing family in the area and visiting friends. I can only wish I had more time, there are more people I wish I'd had time to see.
Guess I can always visit that way again. I love the mountains, especially this time of year and it was wonderful to see people I like and to hope they were doing very well.
What kind of memories do you have of places and people?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
One book
There was a time if I were asked "what one book would you recommend?" the following would have been that book:
The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids
by Suzette Haden Elgin (Jan, 1996)
In Stock
The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kidsby Suzette Haden Elgin (Jan, 1996)
In Stock
Price: $15.95
45 used & new from $0.97
When I used to do volunteer work for womens sheltered and battered women, I probably bought and gave away over a hundred copies of this book. I even started getting the bulk institutional discount from the publisher.
I really like Elgin's books, I love my children, and I still recommend this book, even if I've been buying copies of The Bottom Line On Integrity to give away these days and am currently reading more Arbringer Institute books.
If you were going to recommend one book, what book would it be?
Monday, September 17, 2007
Off to the law school reunion ...
So, if you are around BYU this week end, say hello!
Not to mention, I'll be at the game to see BYU lose another one.
(This is the first college football game I'll have gone to in my life, so it should be fun no matter what happens).
JRCLS, class of '82, just FYI.
We leave Wednesday, luckily we won't overlap too much with the house (guests come and go so often. Last time I left town the house was so full everyone wanted to know what we had going on and had not invited them ^-^).
Not to mention, I'll be at the game to see BYU lose another one.
(This is the first college football game I'll have gone to in my life, so it should be fun no matter what happens).
JRCLS, class of '82, just FYI.
We leave Wednesday, luckily we won't overlap too much with the house (guests come and go so often. Last time I left town the house was so full everyone wanted to know what we had going on and had not invited them ^-^).
Sunday, September 16, 2007
C. Terry Warner -- looking for links.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C._Terry_Warner
- Everyday lives, everyday values
- Honest, Simple, Solid, True
- Healing the Hemmed In Heart
- Blame is the lie by which we convince ourselves that we are victims. It is the lie that robs us of our serenity, our generosity, our confidence, and our delight in life.
- Bibliography (by a Swiss site)
- Naiah
I'm looking for more links and more thoughts on Warner's writings and topics. I'm finding them interesting. Anything anyone can leave in the comments would be appreciated.
Integrity can be taught, can wisdom?
I ran across this recently, saved it for myself, and finally decided it was worth sharing.
Read the original (and the rest of the post) at http://www.concurringopinions.com/archives/2007/08/wisdom.html#more
Wisdom
posted by Frank Pasquale
Can wisdom be taught? A growing field of "wisdom studies" in psychology suggests that it can. I was reminded of Anthony Kronman's The Lost Lawyer when reading some of these findings:
Certain qualities associated with wisdom recur in the academic literature: a clear-eyed view of human nature and the human predicament; emotional resiliency and the ability to cope in the face of adversity; an openness to other possibilities; forgiveness; humility; and a knack for learning from lifetime experiences. And yet as psychologists have noted, there is a yin-yang to the idea that makes it difficult to pin down. Wisdom is founded upon knowledge, but part of the physics of wisdom is shaped by uncertainty. Action is important, but so is judicious inaction. Emotion is central to wisdom, yet detachment is essential.
Kronman similarly emphasizes a balance between "sympathy and detachment" in the ideal lawyer.
A recent essay by Michael Ignatieff on his mistakes as an academic reminded me of the importance (and elusiveness) of wisdom.
Posted by Frank Pasquale at 09:17 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Read the original (and the rest of the post) at http://www.concurringopinions.com/archives/2007/08/wisdom.html#more
Valuable Liquids
A friend, having purchased some of what is apparently the most valuable liquid in the known universe during lunch today, felt compelled to dig up this descriptive graph to share.
I thought I'd share it with you.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Real losses
Not that past losses are not real. But current ones tug at the heart so much. My daughter was out helping to search for the senior at BYU who bicycled up to Bridal Veil falls and went hiking. She isn't the one who found the body, where the poor girl fell when she slipped.
Yes, current losses wash out older ones. In a way that is a kindness, in a way that is life. There is always a tragedy. The Armenian genocide gives way to the Jewish genocide which gives way to all the African genocides. The cycle repeats, instead of "never again" it seems like "always again."
The things that are written large are also written small. Someone asked my secretary at work what it was like dealing with family members who have degenerative problems. My secretary's mom went through that. (I was silent, I haven't spoken much about how my dad is going through the same thing). Most people do go through a decline at the end, either in the long or the short run. It is part of the cycle of life. Though I hope that when my time comes I escape dementia and endless pain. Those seem the hardest to me, as I see them from the outside.
I also hope to be as worthy of love as my Dad. I cherish him so, especially now.
Yes, current losses wash out older ones. In a way that is a kindness, in a way that is life. There is always a tragedy. The Armenian genocide gives way to the Jewish genocide which gives way to all the African genocides. The cycle repeats, instead of "never again" it seems like "always again."
The things that are written large are also written small. Someone asked my secretary at work what it was like dealing with family members who have degenerative problems. My secretary's mom went through that. (I was silent, I haven't spoken much about how my dad is going through the same thing). Most people do go through a decline at the end, either in the long or the short run. It is part of the cycle of life. Though I hope that when my time comes I escape dementia and endless pain. Those seem the hardest to me, as I see them from the outside.
I also hope to be as worthy of love as my Dad. I cherish him so, especially now.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
The exploitation of loss
There is an exploitation of loss by cowards, single minded and anonymous.
Interesting, I've had a series of profane (i.e. profanity and insult laced) posts complaining that I'm not acknowledging or blogging about Mountain Meadows or talking about where I was on "the" September 11 and that I need to let those drown out everything else.
I'm not sure I have much to add. I was walking back from the courthouse, there was a crowd in front of a television set in the underground mall I was walking through. I watched footage of the first of the twin towers with smoke pouring out of it.
Since I've been in CLE sessions with the mediator who handled the distribution of the payments to the September 11 survivors as he talked about the difficulties, the unreasonably self centered views of many, the heroic understanding of others, the way that people came together to acknowledge and share with domestic partners who lacked legal standing and the heartbreaking effects of the petitions by others who were not receiving special treatment for acknowledgment (financial or otherwise) of their losses as well.
What does what I have to say, what does that really add? All of those stories are better told by others.
As for the profane cowards, they obviously have their issues or they would not be reduced to inarticulate ramblings, obscenity and insults, demanding that everything else be focused on the issue de jour (of the day) of some.
I guess that I could post that there is a pressing need not to be tied down and locked into the anger and pain of the past. That focus on a loss after five to seven years is probably tied to (toss in your favorite psychobabble here) pathological.
Or that some people desperately need attention.
I hope this gives them what they need. It is the best I've got on this day.
As for the Mountain Meadows Massacre, this post says it much better than anything I could say: http://mormonwasp.wordpress.com/2007/09/11/september-11-1857/
Interesting, I've had a series of profane (i.e. profanity and insult laced) posts complaining that I'm not acknowledging or blogging about Mountain Meadows or talking about where I was on "the" September 11 and that I need to let those drown out everything else.
I'm not sure I have much to add. I was walking back from the courthouse, there was a crowd in front of a television set in the underground mall I was walking through. I watched footage of the first of the twin towers with smoke pouring out of it.
Since I've been in CLE sessions with the mediator who handled the distribution of the payments to the September 11 survivors as he talked about the difficulties, the unreasonably self centered views of many, the heroic understanding of others, the way that people came together to acknowledge and share with domestic partners who lacked legal standing and the heartbreaking effects of the petitions by others who were not receiving special treatment for acknowledgment (financial or otherwise) of their losses as well.
What does what I have to say, what does that really add? All of those stories are better told by others.
As for the profane cowards, they obviously have their issues or they would not be reduced to inarticulate ramblings, obscenity and insults, demanding that everything else be focused on the issue de jour (of the day) of some.
I guess that I could post that there is a pressing need not to be tied down and locked into the anger and pain of the past. That focus on a loss after five to seven years is probably tied to (toss in your favorite psychobabble here) pathological.
Or that some people desperately need attention.
I hope this gives them what they need. It is the best I've got on this day.
As for the Mountain Meadows Massacre, this post says it much better than anything I could say: http://mormonwasp.wordpress.com/2007/09/11/september-11-1857/
Do Not Live an Authentic Life - Live a Moral One
Do Not Live an Authentic Life - Live a Moral One -- is a blog post about acknowledgment -- kind of a corollary to recognition and empowerment in transformative mediation. The take away line is: "The important point is to acknowledge what the real trade-offs are and who will be hurt the most by the alternative choices—especially when there is an inequity in power."
Too often it is tempting to be self-indulgent and call it authentic when what we are doing is exploiting an imbalance in power to make others unhappy and ourselves happier. Too often people look for excuses to do something other than live a moral life, for something that is more valuable than integrity.
Caveat: the essay springs from another discussion at Feminist Mormon Housewives about a situation where I don't know the answer to the problems discussed. "I only wish I knew the answers" was my final comment on the matter. But I wanted to take away what I found important about the discussion, the need to recognize when we are exploiting power in a relationship and calling it something else.
If you can't tell, while I've bought six more copies of McKay's Integrity, I'm now part-way through Terry Warner's "Bonds that Make Us Free." I'm behind the other people in the Bloggernacle who have read it (e.g. http://www.mormonmomma.com/ and http://naiah.synthian.org/ , but find it very interesting and thought provoking, especially in the context of McKay's book.
Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves by C. Terry Warner (Hardcover - Sep 2001)
A link to a cute cartoon about being authentic, etc.: Ethically sourced?
Too often it is tempting to be self-indulgent and call it authentic when what we are doing is exploiting an imbalance in power to make others unhappy and ourselves happier. Too often people look for excuses to do something other than live a moral life, for something that is more valuable than integrity.
Caveat: the essay springs from another discussion at Feminist Mormon Housewives about a situation where I don't know the answer to the problems discussed. "I only wish I knew the answers" was my final comment on the matter. But I wanted to take away what I found important about the discussion, the need to recognize when we are exploiting power in a relationship and calling it something else.
If you can't tell, while I've bought six more copies of McKay's Integrity, I'm now part-way through Terry Warner's "Bonds that Make Us Free." I'm behind the other people in the Bloggernacle who have read it (e.g. http://www.mormonmomma.com/ and http://naiah.synthian.org/ , but find it very interesting and thought provoking, especially in the context of McKay's book.
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A link to a cute cartoon about being authentic, etc.: Ethically sourced?
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Vouchers and the evidence
Using kindergarten lottery outcomes that determine which kids get into the most sought-after schools, they are able to compare the outcomes of those who win the lottery versus those who lose. The students who win the lotteries go to “better” schools and have “better” peers, but they don’t have better outcomes.
I've had real qualms about many school choice programs as I've seen them in action.
My first exposure was the basic public/parochial school split -- and it only seemed fair that Catholic families should get the money they pay in taxes for schools back to help educate their kids.
But, since then, I've seen so many bad schools operating as alternatives (and some really good ones too). But that essay, above, explained the hole in the logic I had not understood before.
I've got a lot more thinking to do, I obviously have a lot I still do not know, but this is one piece of the puzzle.
I've had real qualms about many school choice programs as I've seen them in action.
My first exposure was the basic public/parochial school split -- and it only seemed fair that Catholic families should get the money they pay in taxes for schools back to help educate their kids.
But, since then, I've seen so many bad schools operating as alternatives (and some really good ones too). But that essay, above, explained the hole in the logic I had not understood before.
I've got a lot more thinking to do, I obviously have a lot I still do not know, but this is one piece of the puzzle.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Message and Metamessage, Integrity
When I was much younger I was taught a lesson about message and metamessage. The one everyone knows is the deadly question "does this dress make me look fat?" That is really two groups of questions: (a) is this an item of clothing that I should buy or wear that would make me look good and (b) do you love me, do you find me attractive? Whatever answer you give to the question has to provide clear messages in response to both questions, not just the one that appears to be asked.
I used to be bluntly honest because I was socially inept and didn't know better. I didn't interject myself, and I wasn't rude, but when people asked, I would tell them the truth. In my ward at school that had led several people to think I was a compliment machine because the truth that the people I was talking to did not know was better than they thought or hoped. But ...
After I failed in the role of "compliment machine," someone came to me and explained to me where I had gone wrong. They rightly guessed that I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings. I immediately changed how I talked to people, because the message that was true, the metamessage, was that they were valuable and of worth. I did not want that obscured by responding to only the face of the surface question.
At the same time I learned more about negotiation. In negotiation, according to the accepted statistics, about 40% of the people are "aggressive." Without fail, all aggressive style negotiators lie. The best do it transparently, naturally and, err, honestly -- that is, they believe their lies and are unaware they are lying. In simulations, during debriefing, participants asked about how and why they think they did what they did reveal that even afterwards they believe the lies they've told.
I'm an attorney, a litigator. Much of what I do is negotiation. Much of it is attempting to find the truth. I'm lucky in that I work in an environment that is supportive of finding and dealing with the truth. Even so, I find that I have to watch myself to see that I live up to the expectations and beliefs of those I work with and against.
In that context I've been reading the book The Bottom Line On Integrity. Over and over again the book reaches and reflects on how our environment is filled with times and places where we either do not tell the truth or where our message and metamessage are out of sync (think of any lottery advertisement). Reading the book has helped me reflect.
In a way, integrity can seem like a literacy test. In the law and in the legal ethics of negotiation, it is often the choice of words that makes a difference. I.E. "That is the limit of my authority" vs. "That is what I'm willing to do right now." The first is a lie that is so common that courts have held that it doesn't count because no one could believe it. The second is the sort of thing that is true by definition.
But in life, integrity is something more, and is a collection of skills as much as it is an attitude. To act with integrity requires more than an intent to be honest, especially when message and metamessage clash or where the truth and bearing an honest witness may differ (there is a difference, many times, between "the truth" and the "whole truth").
I'm still thinking.
For something completely different:
http://www.berkeleybreathed.com/pages/favorite_strips.asp
and, my other blog, with different thoughts:
http://srmarsh.com/
I also was impressed by the title of this post:
I used to be bluntly honest because I was socially inept and didn't know better. I didn't interject myself, and I wasn't rude, but when people asked, I would tell them the truth. In my ward at school that had led several people to think I was a compliment machine because the truth that the people I was talking to did not know was better than they thought or hoped. But ...
After I failed in the role of "compliment machine," someone came to me and explained to me where I had gone wrong. They rightly guessed that I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings. I immediately changed how I talked to people, because the message that was true, the metamessage, was that they were valuable and of worth. I did not want that obscured by responding to only the face of the surface question.
At the same time I learned more about negotiation. In negotiation, according to the accepted statistics, about 40% of the people are "aggressive." Without fail, all aggressive style negotiators lie. The best do it transparently, naturally and, err, honestly -- that is, they believe their lies and are unaware they are lying. In simulations, during debriefing, participants asked about how and why they think they did what they did reveal that even afterwards they believe the lies they've told.
I'm an attorney, a litigator. Much of what I do is negotiation. Much of it is attempting to find the truth. I'm lucky in that I work in an environment that is supportive of finding and dealing with the truth. Even so, I find that I have to watch myself to see that I live up to the expectations and beliefs of those I work with and against.
In that context I've been reading the book The Bottom Line On Integrity. Over and over again the book reaches and reflects on how our environment is filled with times and places where we either do not tell the truth or where our message and metamessage are out of sync (think of any lottery advertisement). Reading the book has helped me reflect.
In a way, integrity can seem like a literacy test. In the law and in the legal ethics of negotiation, it is often the choice of words that makes a difference. I.E. "That is the limit of my authority" vs. "That is what I'm willing to do right now." The first is a lie that is so common that courts have held that it doesn't count because no one could believe it. The second is the sort of thing that is true by definition.
But in life, integrity is something more, and is a collection of skills as much as it is an attitude. To act with integrity requires more than an intent to be honest, especially when message and metamessage clash or where the truth and bearing an honest witness may differ (there is a difference, many times, between "the truth" and the "whole truth").
I'm still thinking.
For something completely different:
http://www.berkeleybreathed.com/pages/favorite_strips.asp
and, my other blog, with different thoughts:
http://srmarsh.com/
I also was impressed by the title of this post:
Do Not Live an Authentic Life - Live a Moral One
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Integrity
I've been reading recently. One book that changed how I act is The Bottom Line On Integrity, by Quinn McKay (Author) " When I realize that this was written in 2004, I'm sad I didn't find it sooner.
Bottom Line On Integrity, The by Quinn McKay (Hardcover - Nov 10, 2004)
Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves by C. Terry Warner (Hardcover - Sep 2001)
Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box
Thanks to Naiah -- I'm going to read some more.
I've a longer post in me (I just need to find where I wrote it down in pen and ink when the computer was in the shop).
I guess I ought to toss in a good word for: Genderspeak: Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin (Hardcover - Oct 1993), especially since Amazon has it 33 Used & new from $0.59. The book is an interesting one. The publisher usually just does a single printing of books, sells them out and moves on. This one sold two printings before someone realized it was selling well. So, did they do a third printing? Nope, they just marked it off to good luck on a mistake.
Luckily you can buy used books easily now.
I also liked Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson -- though the fun part is to have people who have read it immediately be able to apply it. I find it and the competing/completing Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most by Douglas Stone both good books.
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Thanks to Naiah -- I'm going to read some more.
I've a longer post in me (I just need to find where I wrote it down in pen and ink when the computer was in the shop).
I guess I ought to toss in a good word for: Genderspeak: Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin (Hardcover - Oct 1993), especially since Amazon has it 33 Used & new from $0.59. The book is an interesting one. The publisher usually just does a single printing of books, sells them out and moves on. This one sold two printings before someone realized it was selling well. So, did they do a third printing? Nope, they just marked it off to good luck on a mistake.
Luckily you can buy used books easily now.
I also liked Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson -- though the fun part is to have people who have read it immediately be able to apply it. I find it and the competing/completing Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most by Douglas Stone both good books.
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Friday, August 31, 2007
Back on line, so little I have to say today
On the one hand, it is nice to have my computer back and be able to post again, but it is August 31 and all I can think of is Robin.
Missing her leaves me beyond words today.
Missing her leaves me beyond words today.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
A Transfinite God
I think (not "I know" or "I believe") that a part of God being infinite is that God is transfinite.
Let me explain and define my terms. If we were all points on a plane (a flat, two dimensional world), a solid sphere that intersected the sphere would be a transfinite object (vis a vis the plane).
Just as the number of curves in the plane is infinite (an aleph two infinity), so the number of curved planar surfaces inside a sphere is infinite (and perhaps sufficient to correlate to the curves).
I think that, in some ways, the resurrection makes us transfinite. The sort of thing C. S. Lewis grasped at with his book The Great Divorce. Lewis has things getting more and more real as they get closer to God (all of hell is contained in a speck at the bottom of a crack in the pavement at the edge of Heaven). I suspect that all of our grasping at meaning is limited by our lack of a transfinite nature and by our finite understandings. Which is why John would say that it does not yet appear what we shall be. ("Beloved, it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that, when he comes, we shall be like him.” So love for one another, genuine love")
He knew we would be resurrected and become like Christ, yet his best analysis of that was that we should embrace love, because he could not otherwise define it.
So it is that I don't really know or really define, but it appears to me that much of the infinite may be subsumed in the transfinite.
By the way, I listened, a while back, to some of the people whose stories are told in "God Grew Tired of Us." The movie is out now. I think I need to see it.
Let me explain and define my terms. If we were all points on a plane (a flat, two dimensional world), a solid sphere that intersected the sphere would be a transfinite object (vis a vis the plane).
Just as the number of curves in the plane is infinite (an aleph two infinity), so the number of curved planar surfaces inside a sphere is infinite (and perhaps sufficient to correlate to the curves).
I think that, in some ways, the resurrection makes us transfinite. The sort of thing C. S. Lewis grasped at with his book The Great Divorce. Lewis has things getting more and more real as they get closer to God (all of hell is contained in a speck at the bottom of a crack in the pavement at the edge of Heaven). I suspect that all of our grasping at meaning is limited by our lack of a transfinite nature and by our finite understandings. Which is why John would say that it does not yet appear what we shall be. ("Beloved, it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that, when he comes, we shall be like him.” So love for one another, genuine love")
He knew we would be resurrected and become like Christ, yet his best analysis of that was that we should embrace love, because he could not otherwise define it.
So it is that I don't really know or really define, but it appears to me that much of the infinite may be subsumed in the transfinite.
By the way, I listened, a while back, to some of the people whose stories are told in "God Grew Tired of Us." The movie is out now. I think I need to see it.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Comfort the Afflicted
A great essay: http://saoba.livejournal.com/137533.html
I also enjoyed http://www.stardancer.org/kherishdar/ and http://mormonstories.org/?p=312
And I've enjoyed and been inspired by President Faust for the last almost thirty years. President Faust
Off set the thought that a frame doesn't need to be true in order to be effective, and doesn't have to be what you think it is to be reacted against ... sigh.
People too often react against what they read into rather than what they read (or hear, or touch, or see or feel).
I also enjoyed http://www.stardancer.org/kherishdar/ and http://mormonstories.org/?p=312
And I've enjoyed and been inspired by President Faust for the last almost thirty years. President Faust
Off set the thought that a frame doesn't need to be true in order to be effective, and doesn't have to be what you think it is to be reacted against ... sigh.
People too often react against what they read into rather than what they read (or hear, or touch, or see or feel).
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
More Mormons who like Catholics
We’ve had a growing number of Mormons coming here. Obviously they don’t come here for theological reasons, but they like our emphasis on values.
Lots of family in town to see my dad, made me have fond feelings of my Catholic aunt (whose last e-mail address I have isn't working) and then I found that quote.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Twelve Step Programs
Twelve step programs (such as the one the LDS Church promotes for its members, or AA or OA or others) work because they work. They do so much because they do so little.
There are twelve step programs because they produce results (which is what I meant by "they work because they work"). Without results they would no longer exist. It seems circular, but the programs are a success because they produce results.
They also produce a dramatic result because that result is all they attempt. By limiting their focus so sharply, they are able to continue to achieve it. Every precursor to the modern twelve step programs attempted to reach for more and failed. Keeping free from distractions and diversions seems very important.
I find twelve step programs fascinating because they reflect how easy it is to reach God, at least for the singular miracles of:
Sometimes we can do so much, because we seek so little, but so specifically, and find the greatest things of all.
There are twelve step programs because they produce results (which is what I meant by "they work because they work"). Without results they would no longer exist. It seems circular, but the programs are a success because they produce results.
They also produce a dramatic result because that result is all they attempt. By limiting their focus so sharply, they are able to continue to achieve it. Every precursor to the modern twelve step programs attempted to reach for more and failed. Keeping free from distractions and diversions seems very important.
I find twelve step programs fascinating because they reflect how easy it is to reach God, at least for the singular miracles of:
- regaining free agency and
- being able to seek God
Sometimes we can do so much, because we seek so little, but so specifically, and find the greatest things of all.
Whitney Awards?
"The Whitney Award will be given annually in conjunction with the
LDStorymaker writing conference each March," Wells, the author of
three novels published through Covenant, explains. "This is an
exciting time to be part of the LDS fiction industry, and we hope the
Whitney will become a prestigious and sought-after award."
Anyone can nominate a novel published during the previous calendar
year in any of six categories, and a final academy of industry
professionals will vote on the final ballot. Nominations are being
taken for books published in 2007 by LDS authors at the Whitney
Awards website: www.whitneyawards.com
###
CONTACT:
Robison Wells
Whitney Awards President
robisonwells@msn.com
www.whitneyawards.com
Whitney Awards Committee
P.O. Box 468
Orem, UT 84059-0468
LDStorymaker writing conference each March," Wells, the author of
three novels published through Covenant, explains. "This is an
exciting time to be part of the LDS fiction industry, and we hope the
Whitney will become a prestigious and sought-after award."
Anyone can nominate a novel published during the previous calendar
year in any of six categories, and a final academy of industry
professionals will vote on the final ballot. Nominations are being
taken for books published in 2007 by LDS authors at the Whitney
Awards website: www.whitneyawards.com
###
CONTACT:
Robison Wells
Whitney Awards President
robisonwells@msn.com
www.whitneyawards.com
Whitney Awards Committee
P.O. Box 468
Orem, UT 84059-0468
Monday, August 13, 2007
Completely off topic
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That was my father's day present, just came in the mail today. So far I've watched the first four shows. My comment "no offense, but this is really, really good." Not that often I can say that about something. I've watched more straight TV tonight than I probably have the rest of the year (ok, I don't watch much television).
Girlfriends are forever
An important lesson to teach girls is that guys come and go, but girlfriends are forever.
You know what I mean. You've all seen a girl or a woman who every new guy she dates, everything else drops out of her life, all of her old friends become nuisances, her children become gnats and she goes into orbit around the newest boyfriend (or sadly, the newest in a string of husbands who don't last).
The same girl will act stupid to attract a guy, will become stupid from acting "as if" and really serves only as an object lesson of how not to be. After each crash and burn her friends are less and less close, less likely to give support.
But a good friend? They can be forever. Teach a daughter that girlfriends are forever and she will have friends that last. She will have more confidence in herself, and she will get the message that there are lots of things more important than guys. After all, guys come and go, but skills, education, knowledge, all of those are forever.
I've got a number of posts I've actually written out (I was away from the computer -- life happens). I need to type them up and blog, but I thought I'd share this thought for now. I love my daughters, and in teaching them this lesson, I want them to live full and joyous lives, and to realize that they are forever.
You know what I mean. You've all seen a girl or a woman who every new guy she dates, everything else drops out of her life, all of her old friends become nuisances, her children become gnats and she goes into orbit around the newest boyfriend (or sadly, the newest in a string of husbands who don't last).
The same girl will act stupid to attract a guy, will become stupid from acting "as if" and really serves only as an object lesson of how not to be. After each crash and burn her friends are less and less close, less likely to give support.
But a good friend? They can be forever. Teach a daughter that girlfriends are forever and she will have friends that last. She will have more confidence in herself, and she will get the message that there are lots of things more important than guys. After all, guys come and go, but skills, education, knowledge, all of those are forever.
I've got a number of posts I've actually written out (I was away from the computer -- life happens). I need to type them up and blog, but I thought I'd share this thought for now. I love my daughters, and in teaching them this lesson, I want them to live full and joyous lives, and to realize that they are forever.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Grief related links ...
Once upon a time, back when blogs were not on-line journals of various types, a blog was a web log -- a collection of places you had been on the web, things you could recommend. I'm doing that now with a post I just read:
and:
top 5 things not to say at a funeral May 9, 2007
Posted by guinever in loss, heaven, grief, healing, everyday life, death, christianity. trackbackIn the two years since my daughter’s death, several people have asked me what they can say to a friend who has just lost a child or another loved one. My answer has always been,
There are truly no words. Just listen. Get your friend talking.
Ask about their loved one. Ask what they miss the most, what they remember. If you have some stories to tell about the person who has just died, tell them. They will grasp onto your memories and cherish them.
and:
“grief is like labor” revisited one year later March 14, 2007
Posted by guinever in loss, grief, healing, christianity. trackbackAs the two year anniversary of my daughter’s death quickly approaches, friends and family have been asking me how I’m doing. Some wonder how I will spend March 22–do I want the women to surround me again in prayer at the cemetery followed by brunch at my house like we did last year?
Others ask if the second year is easier than the first one. A year ago, I compared my grief to labor and I said that grief can be overwhelming just like transition during labor can be overwhelming and I said that this transition will end.
Friday, August 03, 2007
AOLPress -- GNN Press -- NaviPress
There was a rev0lutionary html editor, one that works as a browser as well as a web page designer, with some intuitive parts that have still not been equaled. I own licensed versions of other html editors, but nothing really matches it.
However, with XP service pack 2, it broke. There is a fix.
"
However, with XP service pack 2, it broke. There is a fix.
"
You agreed to the one a copy of this email has been sent to, along with my reply to you, to give that person full credit for the fix.
That web site I contacted is here: http://www.ydegraw.com/aolpress.html"
So, here is the fix, along with the contact information I was given.
Still available for download from crooks and crannies on the web. The last trace of what made GNN a great ISP, back in the day.
So, here is the fix, along with the contact information I was given.
Thanks for the quick response...finally found the problem and cured the prob by selecting preferences/general/photoshop4.JPG instead of the default which is trans GIF,ART,Progressive JPG.Nice to be able to have it working again. Too bad that it was first declared freeware and then AOL deleted it from all official support. Sigh.
Some how i guess windows XP doesn't do well with that setting as soon as i changed it the images appeared again in AOLPRESS .
Thanks for your time it's truly appreciated !
Still available for download from crooks and crannies on the web. The last trace of what made GNN a great ISP, back in the day.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Shangri-la Diet Update
I continue on the diet. My current weight is about 65 pounds down from where I started. My resting point on the diet depends on the amount of exercise I get, something that has not been true for me for some time. It is a permanent life change.
I'm pleased, now that it is closing on my second year, and over a year at this weight or a bit lower.
With the release of the paperback, the hard back is now on sale at Amazon for $3.99.
I'm pleased, now that it is closing on my second year, and over a year at this weight or a bit lower.
With the release of the paperback, the hard back is now on sale at Amazon for $3.99.
The Shangri-La Diet (Hardcover) by Seth Roberts (Author) 
(73 customer reviews)
(73 customer reviews) 
See all 73 customer reviews...Saturday, July 28, 2007
A five year old, in pain, scared, weak, afraid ...
Can't swallow well, can barely do more than sleep 20 hours a day, surrounded by monsters and in terrible pain, no siblings or parents who can help.
Feeling they've failed everyone, even their children. Children?! An old man in his 70s (which could just as easily have been a young man in his 70s), with dementia and paranoia, Parkinson's disease having stolen much from him until he is a five year old with an old man's memories and an old man's body, confused, in pain, and in fear.
I sat with him today for a while until he could go back to sleep.
Feeling they've failed everyone, even their children. Children?! An old man in his 70s (which could just as easily have been a young man in his 70s), with dementia and paranoia, Parkinson's disease having stolen much from him until he is a five year old with an old man's memories and an old man's body, confused, in pain, and in fear.
I sat with him today for a while until he could go back to sleep.
"He makes 'terse' into an art form."
Stuart Marshall described me as the most laconic man he had ever had contact with. The fun line, though, was "he makes 'terse' into an art form."
Made me smile, as in the genre, and for the book I was contributing to (with my own special section, much to my surprise), that probably describes my reputation over the past thirty years.
I have learned to not be so terse in other settings, and did have one person ask me how someone distilling several hundred pages of my work into a much smaller area could call me terse (the answer was that it was accurate), but this quote made me smile.
Something good in a busy week.
Made me smile, as in the genre, and for the book I was contributing to (with my own special section, much to my surprise), that probably describes my reputation over the past thirty years.
I have learned to not be so terse in other settings, and did have one person ask me how someone distilling several hundred pages of my work into a much smaller area could call me terse (the answer was that it was accurate), but this quote made me smile.
Something good in a busy week.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Visiting memories
We went to a baby shower in Wichita Falls. Took some pictures that I've long been meaning to take.People have been visiting still, leaving trinkets and tokens and memories. I admit that the flowers and statues and rocks and crystals and everything else that still show up make my heart happier. I'm grateful for the kindness of unknown strangers, for the love of friends and for my daughters.
We, too, visit, taking and leaving memories. The company that did the headstones switched hands and lost their artist and craftsman on the third headstone, so the style and execution are much different with that one. But you come to terms with a great deal in life.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Harry Potter and the no spoiler comments
Well, we did the wait in line routine at the local Barnes & Noble (which meant pre-register, pick up tickets with a good place in line, show up, go to the events at the mall, confirm that we could actually buy the book without waiting at the local grocery store and then go back to the line so the kids could have the experience, which they relished). Bought two copies.
The books are consistent with what went before, though the outcome is not required by what went before. I'd have rather seen some people who died not have been killed, but on the whole it was well done and satisfying.
I'll skip the spoilers.
The books are consistent with what went before, though the outcome is not required by what went before. I'd have rather seen some people who died not have been killed, but on the whole it was well done and satisfying.
I'll skip the spoilers.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Sunrocket Crashes
Sigh. The service got buggy late last week, today the New York Times reported that they had laid everyone off, I made a call to the 800 number and was told they were not responding or providing service, good-bye (I'm giving you my impression of the recorded message that was much to chipper).
So, I'm switching to FIOS VIOP (since I have FIOS otherwise). Well, for the time I had Sunrocket we saved about three hundred dollars, all in all. Still, too bad it crashed.
I'll be without a working home phone for about a week and a half.
So, I'm switching to FIOS VIOP (since I have FIOS otherwise). Well, for the time I had Sunrocket we saved about three hundred dollars, all in all. Still, too bad it crashed.
I'll be without a working home phone for about a week and a half.
- SunRocket Goes Out of Business, Leaving Customers in the Lurch
- GigaOM Sunset at Sunrocket? Layoffs rumored «
- sunrocket To no one's surprise, SunRocket has ceased operations.
- SunRocket - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia SunRocket was a US-based VOIP provider established in early 2004 by Joyce Dorris
Monday, July 16, 2007
Shut down by spam ... arghhh
I own a domain, adrr.com. I've had it a long time, my e-mail used to route through it. Sigh. Not any more.
Because it is a four letter domain, it is on the list to get spam -- lots of spam, tens of thousands of spam a day -- all of it sent to e-mail addresses that don't exist, but might. Enough that my hosting service had to shut down my e-mail server and briefly had the domain itself shut down.
Many four letter domains are worth a lot, a couple hundred thousand dollars or more. Mine isn't (not to mention, if it were, I'd probably sell it and move everything to srmarsh.com where I keep my slow moving negotiation blog -- having a four letter domain isn't that important to me). Many generate a lot of revenue. Mine doesn't, http://adrr.com/living/, for example, just doesn't have much commercial cachet.
As a result, the "solutions" that cost "only" fifty or a hundred dollars a month just were not reasonable.
But if you've wondered where I've been, I've been "snowed" under, so-to-speak, by spam.
If I could reach back and actually touch them, I'd arbitrate and then collect under the terms of service. Anyway, that is where I have been.
Because it is a four letter domain, it is on the list to get spam -- lots of spam, tens of thousands of spam a day -- all of it sent to e-mail addresses that don't exist, but might. Enough that my hosting service had to shut down my e-mail server and briefly had the domain itself shut down.
Many four letter domains are worth a lot, a couple hundred thousand dollars or more. Mine isn't (not to mention, if it were, I'd probably sell it and move everything to srmarsh.com where I keep my slow moving negotiation blog -- having a four letter domain isn't that important to me). Many generate a lot of revenue. Mine doesn't, http://adrr.com/living/, for example, just doesn't have much commercial cachet.
As a result, the "solutions" that cost "only" fifty or a hundred dollars a month just were not reasonable.
But if you've wondered where I've been, I've been "snowed" under, so-to-speak, by spam.
If I could reach back and actually touch them, I'd arbitrate and then collect under the terms of service. Anyway, that is where I have been.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Mary Sue ...
There is a lot of on-line literature. Much of it (well, maybe only 95%) fits into the Mary Sue category:
"You already know Mary Sue. Mary Sue is the perky, bright, helpful sixteen-year-old ensign who beams about the ship. Everyone on the ship likes Mary Sue, because Mary Sue is good at everything. Mary Sue is an engineer, a doctor in training, a good leader, an excellent cook, and is usually a beautiful singer. Mary Sue often has mental powers that may manifest themselves as telepathy, precognition, or magic. Her past is tragic, more so than any other character on the series. (Many Mary Sues have a backstory that reads like a V.C. Andrews novel. This is a clue.)"
A bit of humor, a bit of background, in case your teen or pre-teen is reading on-line stories. Now you know the gist of 95% of them.
- http://www.onlyfiction.net/results.php
- http://www.onlyfiction.net/marysue2.html
- http://www.subreality.com/marysue/gsblolfc.htm
"You already know Mary Sue. Mary Sue is the perky, bright, helpful sixteen-year-old ensign who beams about the ship. Everyone on the ship likes Mary Sue, because Mary Sue is good at everything. Mary Sue is an engineer, a doctor in training, a good leader, an excellent cook, and is usually a beautiful singer. Mary Sue often has mental powers that may manifest themselves as telepathy, precognition, or magic. Her past is tragic, more so than any other character on the series. (Many Mary Sues have a backstory that reads like a V.C. Andrews novel. This is a clue.)"
A bit of humor, a bit of background, in case your teen or pre-teen is reading on-line stories. Now you know the gist of 95% of them.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Galveston oh Galveston ...
Galveston, oh Galveston, I still hear your sea winds blowin'
I still see her dark eyes glowin'
She was 21 when I left Galveston.
-
Galveston, oh Galveston, I still hear your sea waves crashing
While I watch the cannons flashing,
I clean my gun and dream of Galveston.
-
I still see her standing by the water
Standing there looking out to sea.
And is she waiting there for me?
On the beach where we used to run.
-
Galveston, oh Galveston, I am so afraid of dying,
Before I dry the tears she's crying.
Before I watch your sea birds flying in the sun
At Galveston, at Galveston
Every fourth of July we go to Galveston, to flee town, to avoid memories, to mourn Robin.
This year we had reservations, but the rain was too intense. Today a waterspout came much to close to the condo we rented. But we weren't there.
But I am still bereft.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
More Economics
 |
| Discover Your Inner Economist: Use Incentives to Fall in Love, Survive Your Next Meeting, and Motivate Your Dentist by Tyler Cowen (Hardcover - Aug 2, 2007) |
It is neat to see just how books on economics continue to spread.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
You Get Carried Away ...
A poem by Suzette Hadin Elgin.
"You," she says to the Holy One,
"You get carried away."
Read the whole thing and the comments.
"You," she says to the Holy One,
"You get carried away."
Read the whole thing and the comments.
You Get Carried Away ...
A poem by Suzette Hadin Elgin.
"You," she says to the Holy One,
"You get carried away."
Read the whole thing and the comments.
"You," she says to the Holy One,
"You get carried away."
Read the whole thing and the comments.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Rachel 4, Harry Potter ...
My seven year old has decided that she is going to read all of the Harry Potter novels. So far, she is about through the fourth book.
Will she read it in time for the last novel? Probably. I'm impressed at her diligence (and the joy she takes in reading them as well).
(Gee, is there any place not selling it at dramatic discounts?).
Will she read it in time for the last novel? Probably. I'm impressed at her diligence (and the joy she takes in reading them as well).
 |
| Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) by J. K. Rowling and Mary GrandPré (Hardcover - Jul 21, 2007) |
| Buy new: $34.99 $17.99 |
| Available for Pre-order |
| Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping. |
(Gee, is there any place not selling it at dramatic discounts?).
"just like a Waring blender" ...
|
|
Well, more like the Kitchenaid the Wall Street Journal liked.
Just saving the information here, so I can find it later.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Puppies and Kittens
Children are like puppies, grandchildren are like kittens. That is important to remember.
With a puppy, if you don't lead it as a member of the pack, it piddles all over your house. With a kitten, drop it on the litterbox and it is good. You just love it and remember it is a cat in training. It can do a lot of things, but it can't become a dog.
With a puppy, if you don't lead it as a member of the pack, it piddles all over your house. With a kitten, drop it on the litterbox and it is good. You just love it and remember it is a cat in training. It can do a lot of things, but it can't become a dog.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
So, what solution would I have for current gas prices?
In large part, the dot com boom and bust caused the current problem by diverting attention and resources away from energy. The other thing that happened is that as refinery locations had problems, the oil companies started to reap the benefits of inventory appreciation due to shortages. We have a system where the producers and sellers of energy products have an artificial choke on production -- that comes from the outside -- that makes them rich.
However, we also have a national infrastructure that is falling behind because gasoline taxes have not kept up with inflation.
First, I would raise the tax on gasoline by a dollar. Fifty cents to the highway trust fund, fifty cents to deficit reduction (the deficit is the largest threat to American Security, energy prices are the second largest, terrorists are still not as expensive as drunk drivers).
Second, I would stop the unofficial embargo on Brazilian ethanol. Even with an extra dollar a gallon in tax, one could drive on Brazilian ethanol for around two dollars a gallon. That would drive prices down across the board.
Third, I would renew research grants and focus on energy areas, both the usual (shale oil research, etc.) and some of the emerging areas (biodiesel, including biodiesel from plankton, for example).
Fourth, I would push for two new refineries. Realism aside, that is probably the best we can do in the current circumstances.
I need not go into how the invasion of Iraq has led to higher oil prices, or how by invading Iraq we have funneled money to places we would rather not have it go, and created a huge "nationalization" program in Russia that is destroying democracy there at an accelerated rate. Four things to do are enough. There are many more things that could be done, but those four are essential, painful and the core of any solution.
The gas tax, which we need, is enough to make people think of rioting. Letting the embargo lapse will make the rest think of rioting (as it would drive down profits in a number of industries, though the price of meat would become reasonable and the pain and the pump would reduce). Refineries are hated enough that we are in critical risk right now due to reduced refinery capacity, and maintenance schedules at refineries are a way to coordinate price pressure on oil without an overt communication or conspiracy.
But, if someone were asking me to make the decisions we need to make, to take steps that would push forward to protect the country and plan for our children and grand-children's future, that is what I would do.
I might blog later about what I would do about the greatest threat to American Security -- the incipient collapse due to unfunded entitlements (we are already getting towards Jimmy Carter days shortly) or what to do with the guys who are doing those "don't tax our windfall profits" advertisements on the radio (lock them up with mood rings and more of that music -- ok, I'm joking there). But, I thought I'd blog right now about something topical that no candidate for president is likely to say or acknowledge.
However, we also have a national infrastructure that is falling behind because gasoline taxes have not kept up with inflation.
First, I would raise the tax on gasoline by a dollar. Fifty cents to the highway trust fund, fifty cents to deficit reduction (the deficit is the largest threat to American Security, energy prices are the second largest, terrorists are still not as expensive as drunk drivers).
Second, I would stop the unofficial embargo on Brazilian ethanol. Even with an extra dollar a gallon in tax, one could drive on Brazilian ethanol for around two dollars a gallon. That would drive prices down across the board.
Third, I would renew research grants and focus on energy areas, both the usual (shale oil research, etc.) and some of the emerging areas (biodiesel, including biodiesel from plankton, for example).
Fourth, I would push for two new refineries. Realism aside, that is probably the best we can do in the current circumstances.
I need not go into how the invasion of Iraq has led to higher oil prices, or how by invading Iraq we have funneled money to places we would rather not have it go, and created a huge "nationalization" program in Russia that is destroying democracy there at an accelerated rate. Four things to do are enough. There are many more things that could be done, but those four are essential, painful and the core of any solution.
The gas tax, which we need, is enough to make people think of rioting. Letting the embargo lapse will make the rest think of rioting (as it would drive down profits in a number of industries, though the price of meat would become reasonable and the pain and the pump would reduce). Refineries are hated enough that we are in critical risk right now due to reduced refinery capacity, and maintenance schedules at refineries are a way to coordinate price pressure on oil without an overt communication or conspiracy.
But, if someone were asking me to make the decisions we need to make, to take steps that would push forward to protect the country and plan for our children and grand-children's future, that is what I would do.
I might blog later about what I would do about the greatest threat to American Security -- the incipient collapse due to unfunded entitlements (we are already getting towards Jimmy Carter days shortly) or what to do with the guys who are doing those "don't tax our windfall profits" advertisements on the radio (lock them up with mood rings and more of that music -- ok, I'm joking there). But, I thought I'd blog right now about something topical that no candidate for president is likely to say or acknowledge.
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