Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Missing Robin

Robin (July 6, 1997 to August 31, 1997).

I'm missing her terribly today. You would think I'd be over it, almost ten years have passed, or that I'd wait until September first, when it usually hits me, but I've been missing her more and more this week.

Guess part of it is Heather going off to BYU, and Win driving her. Part of it is getting to bed too early and part is not eating in the place of emotion.

I don't know, I just know that I miss her. I'll probably be emotionally friable for a few days, will need to watch myself so I don't take offense or give it (and let me apologize here, right now, if I've managed to offend someone this week and haven't noticed). I'd say I'm not myself, but I'm not sure, on a day like this, what my self is.

From the lack of comments on my last couple of essays, I'd say that not being sure what my self is isn't the only thing I don't know, but it is a start on the topic.

Missing you Robin, wishing you were here.


annegb said...

It's summer, Stephen, hopefully things will settle down.

There are just no words. I think August is a cruel month.

BrianJ said...


"I'm not sure, on a day like this, what my self is."

I read your comments on the blogs. There are some--probably many--who read your words and learn from them what your self is. Deborah's comment captures just a part of it. Also, your comments help me to remember who my self is.

Somehow, I think this helps me understand what Christ meant in this verse.

As far as your latest two posts (Be Open and Be Perfect), they were exactly what I needed at just the right time.

Anonymous said...

Sorry things are so hard for you right now.

Anonymous said...

I do hope that your grieving now will spare you in September from feeling the intense pain.

Lisa M. said...

It's an oddity, isn't it, how sometimes those feelings knock you off your feet. Seeping in from nowhere with out warning or preperation. The calendar days mark years and dates, but... but is the soft quiet times that are the hardest for me.

This year will always, remind me of Aurora. when ever I see the grain dancing in the wind or the wild fires burning all over the state.

I agree with Annegb (which is almost always!) August is a cruel month.

I admire your verve. Ya know that? And Deborah is right, when she speaks of your gentle voice. Wise one, she is.

Robin... such a pretty name. I'll bet she is with you, more than you know. What a fine family you have, and may comfort surround you all-

and in every way.

Lisa M. said...

This time of year, rather than just the year.

goodness. I clearly need to be sleeping...