Just as important as knowing who other people are, is knowing who other people are not.
http://blog.thirdage.com/?p=669#more-669 talks about this, about how you are not your parents, and do not need to act like them, nor are you married to your parents. Do not treat your spouse (or to interpret what your spouse does) as if they were one of your parents.
Many people do that unconciously, and realizing when you are reacting to people in your past, instead of people in your present, is a major step.
BTW, a great essay on being humble is here.