Wednesday, June 07, 2006

People don't want to get rid of their defects of character Steve, they want to get rid of the problems those defects cause while holding on to the defects themselves. That is why they aren't willing to have God help them rid themselves of their personal defects. It is like the old Russian proverb: "everyone prays that 2 + 2 will not equal four." They don't want to change causes, they just want to escape consequences.

Hearing that made me think. It reminds me of when I tell my six year old to apologize and she doesn't mean it. The "I'm sorry I have to apologize" look, if you know what I mean, rather than the "I'm apologizing because I'm sorry" that I want.

The comment gave me an interesting way to look at motives, problems and change and what it means to want to change or to be willing to change.

Speaking of changes, my parents have decided to change their address and move to Plano. They are getting older and will need help, and we can use the love. Yes, I admit it, I love my parents and really enjoy having them around. The time they spent out here at my oldest daughter's graduation was really neat.

I'd never expected that they would want to move, none-the-less think about it and I do look forward to it. They were pleased with me, at least with the amount of weight I've lost (funny, I think I've gotten more positive feedback on losing weight than anything else I've done, even at work. JL was commenting on how she could be just about ABD on her PhD and people would notice how thin she was over that. It doesn't just happen to adult women, it happens to 50 year old guys too).

May you have good changes in your life. (Which reminds me, needs an update -- he's had good changes after all).


Anonymous said...

I know that my defects that relate to ocd are so part of my identity and people enjoy some of my quirks. I have a huge fear of being boring. I find myself extremely amusing and do not need ocd to amuse myself. But so much of who I am is internal as I think so much and often deeply and this does not often translate into relationships as you have to have a stimulus generally in a conversation to get from point a to b and below the superficial. I do not think I would know myself without my ocd. It has been 12+ years. I am glad it is not as intense as it once was. Also, it gets me out of a few things that are conveninet for me. It is funny because I dream of doing some of the things that it gets me out of and wish I were more independent. And yet, in my present circumstances the roadblocks to this independence are there and I cannot bring myself to try to overcome them. And I cannot relate all the reasons why, but it probably has a lot to do with bad experiences in doing them and feeling safer this way. Also, I have long had this fascination with being a perpetual child and this does serve such a purpose. It is inconvenient too as I have to wait on other people to meet my needs at times. I will go hungry rather than open the fridge or even step foot in the kitchen. If my parents were out of town and I had to let the dog out, then I might venture to the kitchen. But they have not gone out of town for a few years. If I had my own mini-fridge, I might be able to manage, but most likely phobias would crop up making it impossible. I got an acoustic guitar that I want to learn to play, but due to my ocd, I just look at it from across the room. Well, I never had anything of value to hawk before so it is nice to have a little security lol.

annegb said...

I completely agree with whoever wrote this's first sentence and I would appreciate God's help in this matter.