Wednesday, December 05, 2007

When is enough, enough?

Well, to each their own, apparently. I'm in the above category. My wife of eleven years stands in the opening to our living room this past weekend, arms crossed and brows furled. I already knew I wasn't going to like this conversation. It opens with a question about the bag of ON serious mass I have in the closet. And how many things do I need to exercise, the weight gainer, protein powders, protein bars, etc. She wants to know when it is going to stop, when will I be big enough. I don't want to get mad, but...we all normally are our own worst critics. We never see ourselves as others do. I am by no means big (5'07", 175 - 180lbs depending on time of day), but yes, certainly bigger than when we got married.

If I were guessing, I'll bet she likes what she sees, but ...

She was probably happy with what she saw ten pounds ago. You've hit the point she is happy about you, now she wants to know just how much further this goes, how much time you are taking away from her, how much more money you are going to spend.

Does that make any sense? Kind of like when a guy has a hobby. An hour a week, might make your wife smile and have her encouraging you. Forty hours a week, she is going to throw tantrums.

Five dollars a week? She may not even notice. Five hundred dollars a week, a surgeon making two million a year can get away with it, but the rest of us are going to be putting a major strain on a relationship.

She is really asking is this a supplement to your relationship or a replacement? When is enough really enough (and when does it become too much)?

From a discussion about wives and hobbies (this one by a weightlifter/ bodybuilder, but) the principle applies across the board to self improvement and hobbies and projects. It is important to ask yourself how what you are doing comes across. Is it a supplement to your life or is it a replacement for a part of it?