I was at a child's funeral yesterday, at least as long as my heart could take it. Just part of the crowd. Like many I had hoped and prayed the child would be one of the very, very survivors of his condition. After over a thousand medical procedures, just short of two years old, we were at his funeral.
Today was the day after. I know one of the grandfathers, I still feel for him and expect to for some time.
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Hope someone reads this. Having lost a child I have some recommendations for what NOT to say to a person who lost a child.
How lucky you are. You get to raise him/her during the millennium.
You can have more children.
At least there wasn't too much time to get attached.
Be happy, your kid automatically inherits the Celestial Kingdom.
At least YOUR child is on Church records (came from a woman who had a stillborn child)
Yes, people said these things to me. Others ignored me altogether.
Be honest and say you are deeply and truly sorry for their loss. DO NOT say you know how they feel because you don't unless you have lost a child.
Don't aks what you can do for them. Just do it, especially if you know the family good enough. Take the other kids out, if any, for a treat or to the park. Wash dishes, do laundry, sweep, vacuum, bring groceries etc. Just do it. It will be greatly appreciated, and if not then the family has issues. Give cash as funerals are expensive, if you know the family is struggling.
We had no help. Just medical bills alone were over $250,000.00.
Then we had the funeral and headstone.
etonigh
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