Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Sister Mary Sue goes to Heaven

Mary Sue was pouting when tragedy struck. Much to the surprise of everyone else, she found herself in heaven (being Mary Sue, of course she expected to find herself there).

However, even she was surprised to see that there did not seem to be any men around where she was, though her hostess (if that is how one addresses a divine angelic presence engaged in that task) did not seem to find it remarkable.

"The men are babysitting. Surely you knew that in heaven men do all the child care?" "If you'd like, you can listen in on the men's channel."

Sister Sue had planned on listening in anyway, but didn't realize all she had to do was ask. As soon as she did, she decided it was a mistake. What a torrent of whining, begging and complaining children.
"Oh, men listen to and help process all the prayers. I know yours weren't that way, but most prayers are nothing but begging, whining and complaining, with a little gloss thrown in."

"But you don't have to worry, the children are told not to bother us."
Mary thought back to her last bishop. Of course no one paid him, everyone felt he was the one to complain to, and he knew he was going to be released and then forgotten after five or six years of service. Her husband had once joked that when Christ washed the apostles feet, that was the least of the clean-up he had to do. But Mary hadn't thought about that sort of thing carrying over to heaven.

No wonder the Church spent so much time training men to do that sort of thing, men had to get ready for an eternity of it in advance. But she worried that she might somehow get stuck with it at some point.
"It wouldn't be much like heaven if you had to put up with that, would it?"
Her hostess had read her mind. Mary Sue had been confused about what to expect, but this was starting to give her a real clue about why heaven was heavenly.
"Don't worry, the men do all the cleaning too.

"There are times in our lives when I think the Lord says, I gave you bread, but it wasn’t the kind of bread you wanted and because you keep thinking about the kind of bread you wanted you’ve turned my bread into a stone. I gave you a fish, but it wasn’t the flavor of fish that you wanted, and you’ve turned the fish into a serpent. Or I gave you an egg, but I cooked it differently from how you ordered it, and you think I’ve given you a scorpion."

From When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered by S. Michael Wilcox

Think about that next time you wonder about what heaven is and what conclusions to reach.


Anonymous said...

What a charming story. It makes one think.

Stephen said...

I'm glad. Ever since a guy came into the writing lab were I was tutoring for help with math because he had a female tutor in math lab and couldn't relate to her, I've been thinking about how limited we are by gender some times.

Anonymous said...

This one really got my attention! How true it is of me to whine, complain and beg. How true it is of me to want something different to the great blessings I am offered.

I've been aware, but not as poignantly as you have made we with this story. Thanks for the wake up call.

Robyn said...

Oh Stephen I cannot tell you how often I have come here and been fed. You continually lift and put life in proper perspective and I appreciate it. It has been an exhausting week and I needed some downtime.

I think I'm fine now. Thank you.

Stephen said...

chronicler -- it is posts like your that keep me blogging.

Glad all is well now.