Sunday, January 14, 2007

A friend's comments on mortality

Ozarque has been writing about mortality:

It is easy to forget that we are all mortal, especially on a cold, sharp morning with kids on a sleepover eating waffles and sausage. But we are, and it helps to plan for life to continue. Grief and loss are hard, but there are things we can do to make the transitions more human, more survivable.


Lisa M. said...

-More survivable.

Barb said...

I think this can help those who want to help in a time of need. I understand what she means about death not being abstract for her. I think for many in our society death is more abstract as for them it happens to others and their families at their stage of life.

There are some people with all the training who may never be socially skilled at being there for someone at a time of crises. Casseroles, sympathy cards, shoveling walks, are appropriate ways to give expression for both all whether articulate or inarticulate.

I think community is so important for all stages of life. My grandparents were farmers and moved to town about a decade before my grandma died. I don't imagine my grandma was well-known in the Community as she did not attend the Catholic Church she was a member of very often from what I could tell. When she passed away, I was walking my cousin's little boy of about three. Some people who lived down the road and across the street saw us walking and when I told them my name, they said that they heard about my grandma's passing on the radio. The little boy who was probably a little older than my second cousin but about the same height had already let my relation ride his bike. His family was leaving with him and showed us where to park the bike when we finished. I couldn't believe how friendly they were. There were a lot of people from the community who brought in casseroles. In my neighborhood, in a larger city, neighbors did not hear of my Grandpa who lived in my city for years. He just lived a few blocks and neighbors would know that he had dementia and that we often walked to their house.

My mom has worked with a lot of women who are fairly close to her age at her current company. They attend weddings of each others' children. They also try to attend funerals when someone passes They have started taking in food as well. And when one of them is sick, they often call to inquire. The deaths have mainly been the aged parents. One of the ladies lost her son suddenly and unexpectedly over a year ago. Her friends at work have tried to be there for her. And she has been open with them about how she is doing or her husband.

I am going to add a little more in the moment.

Barb said...

During the reception following my grandpa who lived blocks from my home, I sat by the older members of the Lutheran Church who prepared the food and did the clean up. I told them how nice it was that they would do it. The older gentleman told me it was the last act who could do for someone. According to my mom who was raised in that Church, he was a very kind man. Some people are very gifted in being thoughtful and caring.

melissaclee said...

That is very true, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us on this blog.