I donated blood yesterday.

Before Jessica died, I had donated enough that they gave me my four gallon pin. When she was on ECMO is also the first time I found myself outside of the Red Cross system and donated through Carter Bloodcare. Since then, I've donated a time or two at Church and work, but mostly I get called and don't feel like making an appointment. In return, they've lost all records of my donating since 1993.

But I need to donate blood more often and I'm committed to becoming a regular again. I realized I had memories and issues left over, but I'm going to deal with them better by facing a normal donation center and getting through them than just avoiding the chance to donate.

In case you don't realize it, this blog is a continuation, in many ways of http://adrr.com/living/journal.htm -- on-line journal entries I used to post to create some distance. By posting those entries I kept people from direct contact at at time when it was just too painful to talk. Sometimes it is still too painful.

Alessia
by Wilfried Decoo

Alessia, I hope you will read this post, now, or rather some day in the future when you will be an independent adult, free to choose, and strong enough to look back. I want you to know that the Church never abandoned you, that the thoughts of dozens of Church members have been with you these past few years. And, through this post, the thoughts of many will be added. This block of text links to the story of Adelbert Denaux and Alessia

It is a heartbreaking story. One that should fill Adelbert Denaux and the Belgian IACHSO with such a sense of shame that they can not face God and not weep. May they stand between heaven and earth.