Sunday, January 02, 2005

I have a lot of non-LDS friends. Recently, I recommended to one. It was gratifying to get back a thank you note.

There is a lot of just good, solid, hopeful thinking that seems to flow well. Things that cause me to stretch and reflect and wonder and improve. I need those things because I need things that do more than just agree with me. I can stand in an empty room any time I feel like it, but to have my mind challenged, improved and expanded -- to learn and find more light and knowledge, that is life in many ways.

So, one more recommendation, one more blog added to the list of those I link to.


Dave said...

I call it "the pink blog," and it certainly offers a dialogue not found on other blogs in the B'nacle. I imagine that within a few years almost any Mormon or interested visitor will be able to find an LDS weblog or two or three that "clicks" for them.

Stephen said...


With the explosion of LDS themed blogs, I'm sure you are right. I can think of at least three celibate dating blogs .... But there is only one BCC. Now, if I can only get a link ;)

Stephen said...

Two other great links, about dealing with older people:


Stephen said...

In response to the latest there, I posted:

I have a hard time asking my husband questions like "When you say the kitchen is clean do you really not see the crumbs on the counter? Then chunks on the floor?" because he will generally take such a question as a criticism. And it is generally meant as such. I don't like to be a nag. So I just wipe off the stupid counter myself. Is this the plan? I hate to think so. But the suspicion worries at me.Your husband is a guy. Yes, he can't see (with or without his glasses. BTW I now wear my reading glasses when I clean). One problem many women have is that most guys remain guys even if they are good men, if that makes any sense.

To get people to see it helps to make sure they are physically capable, but also mentally capable.

Terms help as do definitions. Best is combining them. I like the way someone came up with four degrees of clean -- that will help a guy understand that the basic assumption "guy clean" isn't the kind of clean you are talking about. If you just use the word "clean" you will have them think "guy clean" and talking about it won't change that basic mental reference. You have to call it something else.

It also helps to remember that most women calculate neatness by "the amount of stuff beyond my women's stuff" rather than the total amount of stuff. This is hard for guys to understand, as guys think of neatness as "as long as my stuff doesn't exceed the amount of other stuff out there, I'm neat."

Finally, guys think of tasks in different parts than women do. Rather than trying to get them to redefine the task, ask them to do all the parts "honey, could you load the diswasher, wash things and then make sure they get put up?" Interestingly enough, most guys respond well to being asked to do all the parts, while they get irritated when asked to do one part and then chewed out for not doing the other parts (which a non-guy would see as them only doing part of the job they were asked to do).