Courtney Elizabeth Marsh died today, December 26, 1993. I miss her terribly.
As we learn to feel again, the feelings of loss are stronger along with everything else. Usually feeling is good, but on a day like today, it is so mixed. It used to be a dark tunnel, from December 24 to about February 18. Now it isn't a tunnel, but it is not everything the season should be either. Nor is the Fourth of July or Labor Day.
But, I love my wife and the two children who are in our lives now, very much. In many ways we are so blessed. As one ICU nurse said, with feeling "you are so lucky." In all the pain, there is a great deal of joy as well.
I don't know, dealing with emotion is so hard, though it changes every year as we reach another stage.