I understand you used
to be involved in the study of LDS Church History, what can you tell us about
that time in your life and what insights you gained from studying history?
Initially, my study of Mormon history was really motivated
by a strong desire to know as much as possible of the teachings and practices
of early Mormon leaders. That desire was
insatiable. I was determined to know as
much as possible about the doctrines of the restoration. I also grew to love the history itself, more
and more.
Oddly, that became a time of
great contradictions. My studies raised
as many questions as they did answers. My
faith in early Mormonism increased, but I also increasingly saw distinctions
between early Mormonism and the modern LDS church. I became somewhat of a fundamentalist----not
in the “go join the FLDS and marry more wives” kind of way that we talk about
Mormon Fundamentalists, but rather in a broad sense of dissatisfaction with
many changes. I increasingly saw how
early doctrines and practices had been abandoned or transformed.
This became the beginning of my disaffection,
though for many years I remained firmly committed to the LDS church.
Eventually, I took on an intense study of the influence of
Freemasonry on early Mormonism. That
project honestly began as a testimony-builder.
I initially saw Freemasonry as something of a “prophecy” of Joseph
Smith’s ministry, and wanted to really examine that fully. Over the next four years of research, I came
to a different conclusion, which ultimately led to my resignation from the LDS
church.
You were also a
blogger at Mormon Matters
What was that like?
In all honesty, I volunteered to blog at Mormon Matters
entirely too early after my resignation from the LDS church. I wasn’t ready to engage topics in a way that
was fair and open. Like many who find
themselves needing to resign from the LDS church (whether due to doctrine,
being LGBT, historical concerns, social justice concerns, etc.), I had a level
of anger.
Couple that with inexperience
in generating blog posts that would really lead to worthwhile discussions, and
my participation wasn’t very effective at the time. By the time Wheat and Tares was created, I
had gone “inactive” as a blogger at Mormon Matters.
What do you believe
religion and the gospel (with a small or a large "g") should be?
I am impressed that “gospel” literally means “good
news.” I believe that spirituality---in
whatever form we practice it---should bring us joy. I do not believe that spirituality should cause
suffering, even with the promise of some future relief. I do not touch a hot stove in order to enjoy
some future time when the burn stops hurting.
In saying this, I believe we have to acknowledge that what brings one
person joy may bring another person pain, and vice versa.
As a Mormon, I once believed that I possessed
objective truth, without which nobody could have joy. In the decade since I resigned my membership
in the LDS church, I have become far less concerned with discovering some
absolutist “truth” (with a capital “t” and a trademark symbol), and far more
concerned with discovering what works.
In my work with helping others discover and deepen their own
spirituality, I’ve realized that I have no reason to concern myself with
whether a person’s religious beliefs or practices are “true.” Instead, my concern is how those beliefs and
practices actually function in a person’s life.
If the LDS church brings someone joy in their life, that’s a wonderful
thing! If the LDS church brings pain and
suffering in a person’s life (as it often does, for example, for LGBT
individuals), then find some other way to engage with the Divine!
I understand you've
moved on to other endeavors and just had a Master's Thesis that was
successfully defended. Could you share
what your thesis is about and what you are doing now?
My thesis was entitled, “Dance Your Own Dance: Spiritual Guidance as a Support for Gay Men
in Creating an Affirming, Sustaining Spirituality.” I examined how gay men (really all LGBT folk,
but a master’s thesis is narrowly focused, out of necessity) from non-affirming
religious backgrounds typically experience conflict between their religious and
sexual identities, which may result in significant emotional turmoil.
For many years, researchers have adopted a
model for resolving this conflict which centers on four strategies: rejecting religious identity, rejecting LGBT
identity, compartmentalization, and integration. Unfortunately, this model was developed
through examination of a gay-affirming Christian church, and is entirely
Christianity-centric in its outlook.
Even the original scholar who proposed the model has acknowledged this
fact.
In my thesis, I showed how none of
these four strategies truly “resolved” anything at all. I then identified spiritual bricolage---a
process of drawing elements from multiple traditions to create a unique
personal spirituality---as a fifth strategy for resolution. Through individual interviews, I showed how
gay men had engaged in this process to create an affirming personal
spirituality which addressed their unique spiritual needs.
At this time, I am beginning to build my professional
spiritual guidance practice. Spiritual
guidance is really about being a companion and witness on the client’s
spiritual journey, whatever that journey may be. In my practice, I am not attached to any
particular tradition, but instead meet my clients where they are, asking
questions and helping them to discover and deepen their own relationship with
the Divine. It’s a wonderful experience,
and ultimately a spiritual exercise for me, as I see each client as an
individual face of the Divine in this world.
In October, I will begin a combined MA/PhD program in Depth
Psychology, with emphasis in Jungian and Archetypal Studies at Pacifica
Graduate Institute. My master’s program
in spiritual guidance provided me with a good introduction to Jung, and I am
eager to delve much further into his work, along with that of the brilliant men
and women who came after him.
Do you have any other
major projects or ideas?
I’m interested in expanding my research on spirituality
within the LGBT community. In
particular, I look forward to gathering more personal narratives. Interviewing men about their spiritual
journeys for my thesis turned out to be one of the most sacred experiences of
my life. I am also interested in
examining how our culture’s experience of LGBT people is affecting spirituality
on a larger scale.
How is our increased
understanding impacting matters of faith?
What archetypal roles do LGBT people play within our culture, and what
needs do they serve? How can LGBT people
contribute more fully to our larger culture, and bring about more joy?
What rule or
commandment do you think is important for everyone to consider?
While I am no longer a Christian, I believe Jesus taught the
most important lesson any of us could learn.
He taught us to love. He taught
us to love the Divine, to love ourselves, and to love others.
Aside from that, when I came out of the closet a decade ago,
I replaced Mormonism’s elaborate system of commandments with three basic
values: (1) I would never again hide who I am, (2) I
would not harm others intentionally, and (3) I would try to do good in the
world. While I’m far from perfect, I’ve
continued to try and live up to those values.
If you could give one
piece of advice to our readers, what would it be?
As Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true.” Some might consider me naïve, but I truly
believe that each of us is good at our core.
To the degree that we are authentic to who we truly are, we will be a
blessing to ourselves and to others.
Anything else you
would like to add?
Thank you for inviting me to participate!
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