Sunday, November 13, 2005

We had a lesson on service today and got into a discussion of some people and things they had done. A friend paused, then said "that reminds me of my wife." I thought, that reminds me of my wife too. We both smiled.

Service is very important, and that is a feeling my wife shares, and one that makes me so very happy to be married to her.

When couples lose a child, they usually divorce. Last number I saw was over 90%. The experience is just so destructive, everything falls apart.

To survive it helps to keep moving forward. A good friend told me that, before Jessica died, that you had to remember those who were still living and decide if you were going to lose them as well as the one who died. If not, you had to keep moving forward.

For many, moving forward means not only staying in motion, but finding goals, "to do" lists. At times "to do" lists slowly evolve into "to fix" lists which can become "things to be unhappy about" lists.

Gordon B. Hinckley, spoke about that recently, reminding people to be grateful for each other rather than to spend their time finding fault and reasons to change each other.

It is an important lesson, especially for those who are overwhelmed by grief. By being grateful for each other they can strengthen each other when they need it the most rather than adding to each other's burdens and pain.

We can be grateful for each other, and reflect on the reasons for that gratitude, like Dave and I did about our wives this day.


Lisa M. said...

I heard ninty four percent.

Being grateful and concentrating on celebrating that relationship is the only way to service or at least it has been for me.

It is so frustrating for me, because he does not experience, or feel or articulate the way I want and need him too.

But I am grateful for him. I am grateful for the existance we have.

I think we are going to make it.

I think we can, I think we can, I think we can.


Good Post, dear friend

annegb said...

good post, stephen

lochan said...

Thanks for this post, Stephen.

Anonymous said...

those statistics are just staggering.

-the angry M