Rachel is getting baptized this Saturday.
It has been a long time since we've had a child live long enough to be baptized. Kind of like her last milestone before we can go back to trying to live normally.
Strange how there are such hidden things in our lives, with such meaning.
In grief there are two kinds of milestones involving children, both hard to understand.
As Jessica's friends were baptized, had bat mitzvahs, went to college, got married and went through other life stages, there was such bitter-sweet sorrow in her not being there, not doing the same things. At the same time, there is comfort in the fact that life is going on and such joy to see her friends doing well. By all means I was much happier to see the events than if I had missed them.
The other is as children reach the ages that siblings died at, it is as if a heavy weight is lifted each time. Jessica so wanted to be baptized. To see Rachel go through that event was so sweet, as if she had finally begun to live, while at the same time it was one of the first kind of milestones as well.
Life is so many small miracles, so much joy, so much perspective. I am glad of it.