There have been a number of wrinkles to my life as I have quit burying my emotions under food. I've had to deal with resurgent grief issues as having a child move through the ages and benchmarks of my other children has brought many things to life. I've experienced a great deal of joy in the love and admiration I feel for my wife and the way that has come strongly to the surface now that I'm not hiding from my emotions.
However, one thing I wasn't prepared for and am still dealing with is being infatuated with my wife. I've a confession. While I worked at having crushes as a kid (everyone else had one, so I decided I needed to have them to be normal), I never really experienced infatuation in any real amount until November, a couple years back or so. While it is kind of fun to get giddy feelings, my bottom line conclusion about it all is that while love motivates you to be kind and to think of others and care for them, infatuation just makes you goofy. Now I kind of wish I knew what being drunk felt like so I could compare the two experiences.
I'm too old for this. At least I finally understand what got into everyone I knew or what makes old fools. But the only advice I've gotten so far is that I should be grateful I've discovered that I'm infatuated with my wife. At least as I'm going on three years of it I'm at least able to deal with it without getting overwhelmed by it. I'm still getting tongue tied sometimes.
Guess there could be a lot worse things. I've been sick, missed a fair amount of work, slept a lot, and finally found a florist to remember. If the worst thing about life at the end of the day is being infatuated with my wife, I think I'm grateful.