Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A return to joy

I blog about a number of things, but I thought I'd also blog about the return of joy.

Grief is so terribly wearing, like a gray sandstone fog, to the point one sometimes feels that there will be nothing left. Often it breaks things, things that have been part of one for years, like my friend who suddenly could not sing after the death of her youngest child, or my inability to continue in Shotokan Karate after practicing it for years.

Grief is one of the reasons I am a litigator and not a mediator.

While everyone warns you that the pain never leaves you (much like David O. McKay's wife talking about the pain of losing her son still piercing her when she was in her eighties), they fail to tell you that joy returns too.

I have a lot of joy in my life. I really enjoy my work, it is so precious to walk my daughter to school every morning, and I take joy in my wife.

So, among all the other truths about grief, the light in the fog is that there is also a return to joy.

5 comments:

Tigersue said...

It is always interesting that after a death of a loved one, what are the memories that come up time after time, the ones that cause laughter and joy in the memory. One of those blessings to help with the grief of terrible loss.

Eric Nielson said...

I sometimes wonder what deep grief is really like. I have been fortunate to avoid it. I would imagine there needs to be a time when you give yourself permission to enjoy life. And maybe need others to give you permission as well.

I may be way off base here. I appreciate your perspective.

Stephen said...

there needs to be a time when you give yourself permission to enjoy life. And maybe need others to give you permission as well.

For many people that is very true. Especially children, who seem to feel so much guilt that they ever have happiness after a sibling dies.

BrianJ said...

Excellent post, Stephen.

Barb said...

Joy!!!