Secrets

Everyone keeps secrets from those around them. The biggest secret I keep, is, surprisingly, one that I can share on a blog. It is that not only do I love my wife of more than twenty years, I really like her, she makes me happy. When I quit submerging my emotions and began to recover in earnest, that was the most surprising emotion to emerge -- the utter delight and joy my wife gives me.

I can't share that. Everyone says things like that in public, but no one means them. It is like "my husband is my best friend" -- the sort of thing that women say when they can't think of anything positive to say about a guy. Worse, if you mean it, and people can tell you mean it, it sets you outside the norm. It is the one thing I don't share with my mens' group, I don't share with my co-workers and I don't really share at church. It is a secret I keep, constantly. Ever since a co-worker started calling us "the Stepford family" I've been careful not to seem any more alien than I have to.

So I keep a secret.