All 12-step programs begin with the recognition that you can no longer control your life. Where a twelve step program and grief recovery part ways is that in a twelve step program your life is unmanageable, out of control, because of a compulsive or addictive behavior (such as alcoholism or drugs or overeating). In grief, things are out of control because the pain is so intense it overwhelms your habitual coping mechanisms and breaks or severely derails them -- at least for a time.
In both situations, recognizing what is happening is a major step. Time will dull grief and restore you to control, but it takes a lot of time, and without attention and effort you will not find recovery (I'm not sure that is the right word, but I'm not sure healing is the right word either). In grief it is the scope of the devastation that causes people not to realize just how bad it is, that, and modern society fails to prepare us for acknowledging and understanding grief. In compulsive behavior situations it is usually accumulated denial that prevents one from understanding. In both cases, recovery is as good a word as any to describe the pathway back to life.
I'm thinking of doing a series of essays about various twelve step concepts vis a vis grief. Had the Oxford Groups not disintegrated, I'd probably be talking about their six steps instead, but I think the twelve steps, and the goal of recovery, are probably more useful for grief than the drive to find a true spiritual experience (as core as that is). There are a lot of places the two part ways, but many insights that are useful.
As an aside, a key communication skill: use the word "and," never use the word "but." Never "that is a good color on you, but ..." instead, say "that is a good color on you, and ... " If you can't substitute "and" for "but" in whatever you were going to say, it probably needs not to be said. For some more pointers, you can visit http://www.ozarque.com/.
I am still really enjoying returning to Judo, though I'm convinced I just need to start over from stratch, as if I'd not worked out before. I'm lucky to have the best instruction I've had in my life in Judo, and some of the best martial arts instruction I have ever had. If you are in the metroplex, I'd recommend Dallas Judo to you. I'm going to be in the adult novice classes for a long time, but hope to see you there.
On a political note, Conservative should mean '-Concern. Conserve. Constitution. Consistency. Conscience. Contriteness. And, always, always - Consequences.-' After all, "Once upon a time there were real "Conservatives." They believed in fiscal and political responsibility. They expounded on the virtues of getting government out of people's lives. They talked about caution with regard to the use of military force and foreign intervention. They even promoted a policy of governmental accountability." I may not agree with much that is said by others, but I can agree with "Concern. Conserve. Constitution. Consistency. Conscience. Contriteness. And, always, always - Consequences" (note, I'm changing the quote, just a little, then quoting what I agree with, which is the changed quote).
I'm not happy with the way the right or the left are going. One seems like a drunken uncle, spending the rent money, the other seems like a crazy co-dependent aunt, overun with cats (and no, I didn't have a drunken uncle or a crazy aunt in real life, but I had friends who did). Of course I may just not understand.
But I'd like to see more care, concern and compassion.