You should do things for your spouse. Thanks and appreciation should be active, actions, not just words.
But, anything you do three times ceases to be new and becomes what is expected. So, we both have the chores split up, and I send my spouse to bed and mop the kitchen floor for her. The first time it demonstrates love. The second time in a row, it is neat. The third time in a row, it has become part of my half of the chores.
Instead, the first time it shows love. The next time, I pick something else to do. That way I am able to communicate "I love you" rather than "I should be doing this."
BTW, a friend pointed out that I should refer to these things as recipes -- a better metaphor than others.
In that line, I would add that small gestures, repeated, are much better than grand gestures, rarely done. At least if you want your spouse to feel happy and nourished. You get more credit and attention for a grand gesture, but that is really something you are doing for yourself. If you are doing it for someone else, a number of small gestures, repeated thoughtfulness and kindness, small gestures work better.
A single flower one day, a special food or candy on another, washing the sheets a day early and making all the beds in the house the third, won't impress anyone like a dozen long stemmed roses, but they will make your spouse happier and more nurtured. Especially in times of struggle or grief or loss, you need to nurture each other, care for each other, be kind and reliable for each other. Leave the grand gestures to people who don't know any better or who need attention themselves, and focus on tenderness and patient nurturing.