Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I've submitted a guest post over at Nine Moons. I'll be interested to see if they decide to use it or not.

While waiting, 100 best movie quotes can get you off and running and thinking. 100 best quotes, things like "I can tell you would rather die than pay tithing" and the like. Yes, I especially like metaquotes which are quotes as we have inherited them, not as they were spoken.

An interesting discussion on oil and the future at Ozarque's the on-line presence of the author of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense.

Blogs used to be "web logs" -- logs of places people had been on the web. The number one blog at the ecosystem still is that type of log. In the Bloggernacle, what we have is computer generated web logs -- but no human ones.

Too bad, but it is a sign that we, like most others, have expanded past the original roots.


Sarebear said...

I have two ideas for guests posts for I dunno where, but I'd never have the courage to submit them.

I can't put them on mine, because at least for the one, my family reads there and it'd hurt their feelings (even tho it's true).

One being, for members of the church who grew up with crappy families, who have families that give them little emotional support, who perhaps say they do but you find it it's actually very shallow, who pretty much have no one, why is it that so often we are told, oh, it's the family's job to take care of that need of yours, to give you emotional support and be someone for you to cry on their shoulder, or oh your home teachers are away, you can't get ahold of the EQ presidency, so you called your friend to see if her husband could find someone and come give you a blessing? Heaven FORBID! They tell you how far out of bounds they think you are, and that you should much rather make your in-laws, who are at best 35-40 minutes away, drive here, do it, go back, such that they'd be real late getting to bed, whereas your friend is like 2 min drive away? Since when was it such a horrible thing to seek help from fellow church members? When did it become HT, VT, or family only? I know some of it probably has to do with the way this (former) friend was raised, but still. Yes, I am a married woman, but my husband works alot of nights, and so if something were to happen I'd need the help of fellow ward members. Plus, it'd be good to have some friends to chat with, to lean on for support, and to provide support to. I've told one of my friends this, and she thinks that's only for the psychologist, support group full of strangers, or family. (And no, I'm not talking about dumping the heavy stuff, like cutting, on them.) I thought any good friend would like to be there and provide emotional support for a friend going through a hard time. I know I do it when I can for my friends. Just, what's up with this attitude that it's pretty much family or bust? I know the church is family centered, but in the end, aren't we all family, of a sort? Yes, we look to family first, but A, I was hit growing up by someone in my family, and my family is emotionally cold and not very understanding. Very critical. My in-laws, only understand what they choose to understand, which isn't much. I am not looking to become a bother to anyone, just, for appropriate contact, interaction, and occasional help as the situation comes up, and some emotional support, the same kind I'd give to fellow friends in or out of the church. The same kind of thing I'd do if I was able. Why, in the end, do we address each other as Brother and Sister So-And-So, if in the end it means nothing?

Woops, I kind of went on there. That's what one of my guest posts would be, if I could have the courage. Of course, I'd clean it up some, and edit and compose it better, but that's the gist of it.

The other one regards serving others in the church, from the point of view of the one being served (yes, very delicate topic, and I'd have to take great care). From the point of view of one who has rec'd service from those who are not sincere in their desire, from those who pretty much think their service "bought and paid for" my behavior, thoughts, feelings, and gratitude that day, and others. That may sound like something no one would do on the face of it, but think: If someone you served reacted in an unexpected way while you were serving, or regarding the service, would you be offended? And would you react in horror or offense or hurt at them, and/or tell them how ungrateful you think they are, or how hurt you are, or imply negative things about them as a result? If the answer is YES, then you were not truely serving . . . and I'd go on to illustrate an example, and talk about stuff, and that I don't expect perfect service, or expect any service at all, etc. But some examples of what NOT to do, and that at the point you make the person swallow their last shred of self-respect, along with their pride which they need to swallow to accept charity, is the point where the server has gone wrong. Self-respect and pride are two different things.

Woops, I went on again there, as well. Anyway, two topics that have been on my mind . . . I'd compose them better, I just kind of rambled them on out there with no real editorial eye on it as I was typing.

Stephen said...

I'd love the posts.

BTW If someone you served reacted in an unexpected way while you were serving, or regarding the service then the odds are there are more issues and you need to just pay attention when trying to help someone.

People in need usually have multiple needs, all of which need attention.

I've had people call and get me out of bed for blessings. I don't see the complaint. There is a little bit of push for people to ask the home teachers first (so they don't get left out), but otherwise, it should be a matter of who is at hand.

I'm sorry your friend wasn't thinking, but they were probably stressed, and stress makes fools of us all.

Sarebear said...

Part of me wonders if the "try your family" is a bit of a Utah Mormon thing, although I cringe to say that since we aren't supposed to be divided that way(part of me thinks I'm not supposed to SAY we are either, but what am I sposed to do, put on blinders?). I'm not a Utah Mormon, I grew up in NY from age 5 to 15, and been in UT ever since but I surely don't think the way most of the people here do.

The casual dismissal inherent in the, "that's for your family", presumes that there IS family close by, anyway. And presumes that the person has a good relationship with them. And, is pretty much a brush-off.

I spose I can put all this in the nicely composed post for you. I'm flattered that you'd let me guest-post! Cool!

And yeah, I understand the "try your HT first" issue.

I'll work them up into a more coherent form and be back to you in a day or two. Yippee.

Sarebear said...

oh, and one more question (my hubby is at work or i'd ask him)

Are the priesthood, esp your HT when they are HTing you, supposed to have consecrated oil with them?

Because the last two times they've been here, and I've requested a blessing, they've acted like it's my responsibility to have some around, and they even gave me tips like, store it in the fridge, it'll keep longer, etc.

The first time, my husband searched around and found his.

The second time, they acted like I was imposing for asking if they had theirs (otherwise, they are GREAT HTers tho).

Still, if I'm mistaken in thinking they are supposed to have it with them, I'd like to know! I thought that's what those key-chain vials were for.

Sarebear said...

The second time, my husband was at work and I didn't know where he kept it.

Stephen said...

Oil can go bad if you just carry it around, and in many places people get used to relying on those they visit to have it.

In other places, no one would expect the person asking for a blessing to have oil.

You've just run into different cultural norms that may not be the same five miles away.

Bet the people you are interacting with just assume it is the same everywhere.

annegb said...

14 years ago this week, my son killed himself, on October 1. My birthday was the 25 of September. He sent me a beautiful pearl and diamond necklace and earring set. I talked to him almost every day. I talked to him one hour before he shot himself. I could tell something was wrong, but he said he was okay. Then he committed suicide.

All this time, this has been a very hard week for me. Sarah, aka Princess Buttgold (and believe me, she deserves the title) said she planned it because she wanted to honor my birthday. I don't know about that, but for the first time in fourteen years, I'm not in a really bad place.

Well, I am because I'm stressed about this hellish wedding process, but it's a more joyous place. And for this week, I can't wait until October 1. Because it will be over.

I think God works in mysterious ways. From now on, hopefully, I will remember this time as the time Sarah married Nicolas. And then maybe in the next few years, our little Mary James will come. Sarah is naming her first girl's middle name after her brother. I have toys for her already.

That day, I will think of Sarah's brothers, men, in white, proud and masculine, with their little sister. I hope I will see them smiling and forgiving me completely for the awful things I did.

Thanks Stephen.