I'm quoting from http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=2629 but this is great relationship material. Visit over there and read the whole thing.
So here’s my deal, we humans, we are a bunch of messed up sinners. All of us. We’re weak and lazy and selfish and power hungry. I think most all of us would like a dominion in which we are fanned by palm fronds and fed pealed grapes while receiving a foot massage and being read to by Morgan Freeman. Whilst sending our minions off to buy more jello and clean the toilets. Sigh.
But a righteous dominion must exist, no? Or there would be no need to warn of the unrighteous variety. I don’t know if in any substantial way dominion is different from the leadership, the words certainly feel different to me, to be led or to be dominated, even righteously.
Each husband, each father, should ask some questions of himself to see if he may be on the borderline of unrighteous dominion:
1. Do I criticize family members more than I compliment them?
2. Do I insist that family members obey me because I am the father or husband and hold the priesthood?
3. Do I seek happiness more at work or somewhere other than in my home?
4. Do my children seem reluctant to talk to me about some of their feelings and concerns?
5. Do I attempt to guarantee my place of authority by physical discipline or punishment?
6. Do I find myself setting and enforcing numerous rules to control family members?
7. Do family members appear to be fearful of me?
8. Do I feel threatened by the notion of sharing with other family members the power and responsibility for decision making in the family?
9. Is my wife highly dependent on me and unable to make decisions for herself?
10. Does my wife complain that she has insufficient funds to manage the household because I control all the money?
11. Do I insist on being the main source of inspiration for each individual family member rather than teaching each child to listen to the Spirit?
12. Do I often feel angry and critical toward family members?
To which, let me add my own bit of poetry:
a medley by Steve Marsh
a man is supple and weak when living
hard and stiff when dead
No power or influence can be maintained, except
the hard and the strong are the signs of death
the supple and changing the signs of life
by persuasion, by long suffering, by meekness and by gentleness
that which is forceful will not vanquish
that which is strong will fall to the axe
by kindness and pure knowledge
the strong fails
the supple succeeds
without hypocrisy and without guile
nothing is more submissive and weak than water
yet for breaking mountains, nothing can surpass it
Charity and virtue
that the weak overcome the strong, the
submissive the hard, all know
Yet none can put it into practice
Then the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul
as the dew from heaven and without
compulsory means dominion
shall flow unto thee
Forever and ever
Tao Te Ching
Doctrine and Covenants 121