At times it slips my conscious awareness. Both Courtney and Jessica became sick just before Christmas. Courtney died on December 26, Jessica died on January 26. They were both born in February.
And then Robin ... Now Rachel, who is coping with Tourette's and other issues. Not to mention, the whole house has had seasonal illnesses. My parents and my wife skipped having dinner with me on my birthday because they were too sick, now Rachel and Heather have whatever it was. Sometimes the issues are overwhelming, sometimes all that overwhelms me is how precious my children are to me.
To trust in God. What does that mean? Can I trust God to keep me from pain? Will God keep me from discomfort, sorrow, loss or death? Will God keep me from the full range of life and from more than I think I am ready for? No. In fact, I am pretty certain that at the end, there will come a day when God does not keep me from death.
Then what should I trust God for? What can I trust God to do? That is a question that everyone has to face, what can we really trust God to do and not to do.
A few notes.
Other people's death's may affect us, but those deaths are between them and God, not between us and God.
Best part of my birthday was seeing Heather. Her flight was a little delayed, but she made it safely home. With everyone who was sick, I ended up with just Heather and Rachel at dinner (though we brought back a meal for Win and a selection of desserts for my parents). Everyone is still a little sick today. I had to take time to drive them home from Church early so they could be tucked back in bed.
But today has really been a good day as well. Silly to be so glad to have a child's birthday (on the 21st) and to be so delighted just to see them breath. But I am.
Other recent posts on trusting and understanding God:
- Andrew Ainsworth
- Thomas Parkin
- God "has to speak to us in a manner to meet the extent of our capacities[link][link][link]
Not to mention, the day after Christmas, I'll have a post at Mormon Matters that touches on some of these topics and my favorite related scripture:
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39 NKJV
That is our trust, especially in this Christmas season.