i've actually been wondering all night if you might have a post on this topic. specifically, when one *wants* to forgive, and has even said the words "i forgive you", and then tried to carry on as though forgiveness has actually taken place, but nothing has changed on the inside. what can you do? how does one invoke the atonement? for big things specifically (in my case). all i want for christmas is peace and freedom from this multi-decade hurt. i've recently had the chance to vent and the person who hurt me listened, apologized, and then wrote me a letter further apologizing and asking me to forgive them for all the ways they hurt me and it's impact on my life. i have (in the past) said I forgive them, and tried to have them in my life as if all was well. but it wasn't. isn't.
so how does one move from this point to a healthy place. how does that mysterious atonement work? is there a magic word i need to utter? some level of despair i have to attain? some amount of humility and contriteness i have to conjure up before i can finally be free?
That was the question I was asked.
There is no magic word that I know, though the things that tend to help some people are the process of praying for God to bless the other person and the process of keeping a journal and writing it all out. Buy a simple wire bound spiral notebook, if nothing else, and write about everything, pour your heart out in words.
They pray every night to God to bless the other person and to aid you in forgiving and moving past.
That is where I would start -- and I'm hoping that people who read this blog will chime in and add their thoughts and suggestions in the comments.