Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What heals me

Courtney would have been nineteen today, the 16th of February. Jessica would have been twenty-five on the 12th.  Robin would have turned fourteen later this year.  I have to admit, I am weak.  In many ways I am still completely undone by their deaths in the time between 1993 and four and a half years later. I tend to feel that much of my life has passed me by, washed away by death and loss and grief.

Some things heal me.  My wife's love.  The faith of others. Things beyond words. Grace that is beyond my ability to explain.

But real, tangible and so much my heart and life, the love of my wife sustains me.  Thank you.

4 comments:

Alisa said...

much love....you have been faced with such challenges...and you are right...the love you your wife...and the love of Heather and Rachel...that is what you hold onto when your heart is hurting...that and your faith in forever families

SilverRain said...

Thank you, Stephen. By openly mourning the way you do, I have been strengthened and feel just a little less alone. I'm sure you do that for a lot of people.

Gef Resolution said...

Dear Stephen, from what I am reading from your blog,I wish you a strong heart. You are not alone, remember God is always faithful and compassionate.

cynthia said...

Came across an essay about loss of children, and limited capability during prolonged grief. Thank you.
I lost my only child, my son, who was the center of my life. I next lost my career, workplace had no understanding of grief, although I worked in "mental health". Your article clarified my experiences, and helped with my understanding. A grief support group was helped, although a specific one for parents would have been a better fit. I appreciate your writing. My son's birthday was February 6th, I also have a hard time with Feburary, and with September 28th.
Cynthia