Friday, December 17, 2010

Coda: Krista Oakes

I had a post about Mormons and Feminism at Wheat and Tares.

It occurred to me, after the funeral, that Krista Oakes made a perfect coda to the essay.

On the one hand she ran her own business, was twice the keynote speaker at the FDA/Industry annual conference for her industry, composed music and lived her own life.

On-line she was at:
If you asked her to define herself, she would say: Gas pump virgin, conservative Texan, adoptive mommy to Jacob and Emma (world's greatest kids), small business owner, Mormon, diva, Leo, pampered wife, bookworm, author, clog dancer, third-generation insomniac, cookie monster, karate black belt, brain cancer survivor, and more - all rolled up into one tired but lovable bundle.

More is the loss to LDS feminists that people like Krista could not find a home with them.

We made it to the funeral, though Win had to take more pain medication to make it through (she is still post surgery, no lifting, will be off work for six more weeks) as it went almost two hours.  I found myself admiring President Mills very much, and, of course, respecting Krista even more.

She will be missed.  The ward program for Sunday had her doing two solos, in case anyone wondered how much of a surprise her death was.  She will not be easily replaced.


Cynthia L. said...

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

I hadn't heard that Krista had passed, or that she was sick again.

Oh, wow. She is a very dear soul to me, even though we never met. Wow. I think I'm in shock because this doesn't seem real.

Cynthia L. said...

Ok I had to read this post, and the linked posts, another dozen times each before I could really start believing that Krista had passed.

But, having done all that reading, I'm finally starting to get past the words "funeral" and "Krista," and see the rest of what you wrote.

Are you using Krista's tragic passing as a opportunity/tool to take a swipe at feminists? That's what it sounds like. That's just really, really not classy.

Stephen said...

Cynthia, bless your heart.

If you got to the bottom of the post this is the coda for, you would see that I wrote:

Of course, by now, you’ve hit the fascinating point. Just as all of those definitions of feminism are not necessary or universal or complete or compelling, so are definitions of Mormonism that people use to claim one can not be Christian and Mormon at the same time.

So, feminists don’t need to seek to claim that they are bearing a mark of superiority by claiming feminism (and Mormons don’t need to be claiming that they are the elect just because they are LDS); feminists are not necessarily engaged in a struggle to take power (and Mormons are not claiming power by being LDS); feminism is not in conflict with the Church — the two should be the same (and Mormonism is not in conflict with Christianity); feminism is part of the path to Zion, not a far cry from Zion (and the Church is a precursor to Zion); feminism does not mean compromising values, it can very well mean expressing them (the same for the Church); and feminism is not an excuse.

Interesting how the Church and Feminism have so many points in common, once you think about it.

I don't see that as taking a swipe at feminists. It is too bad that misapprehensions cause it to be so that some people who are very much invested in equality of opportunity and choices do not find a home within a movement that can very much fit that role.

I appreciate that you are in shock and having difficulty right now. Wish you well.

Cynthia L. said...

I appreciate that you are in shock and having difficulty right now. Wish you well.

Thanks. Krista was (is) one of those really extraordinary people. Take good care of her family for me, ok.