Sunday, October 03, 2010

NIghtmare Grief

It has been a long time since I've had a grief nightmare, where I lived through loss and death and felt overwhelming grief.  Friday night I went through that, needed a couple extra hours of sleep Saturday, which I caught in the afternoon.  No one had ever told me to expect to relive grief in my sleep,  It happens less and less as the years go by, been a couple years since the last time it struck me.

This time I dreamed of a child I've never known who had just died. From when I woke, returned to the nightmare, awoke again, returned, and awoke, it was a long dream.

I know there are worse things.  E.g. the things these posters are going through:
Everyone has their nightmares, I guess.  That leaves each of us to bind up the broken hearted and do what we can for others, each of us in our own place.

As for how we can make such hideous mistakes, go to your local library and get this book through interlibrary loan:


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your nightmare sounds terrible. The feeling has probably been staying with you - that's how I always feel after a dream like that.

I totally agree with you about your statement that we have to care for each other. I'm a high school counselor in inner-city Las Vegas, and the students' trials are overwhelming and heartbreaking. I really have the feeling that we have to care for each other, lift each other, trade off needing support and offering support.

Angie

Stephen said...

Thanks Angie.

I went to Jim Bridger Jr. High and Rancho High School (each for a year) in Las Vegas, before we moved to Mtn Home. I'm glad the students at least have you.

thatgoodpart said...

This looks like an interesting book. I haven't experienced the grief of the death of one close to me, but I did experience a great deal of grief when I was divorced. For about a year, I had horrible dreams - they were so angry. They would scare me when I woke up. I worked to remedy the situation by saying a lot of prayers and running a lot of miles. (I kept hoping that I'd be too tired to dream).

Anyways, that looks like an interesting book.

I'm sorry that you had another bad dream. I still have horrible dreams every once in a while. It is crazy how they can effect you.

Anonymous said...

I just read your entries about losing 3 of your daughters, and felt I had to comment. First, my heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my 23 yr old daughter in February 2010, from complications of H1N1 and pneumonia. She was hospitalized 3 months, had ARDS, but was recovering. She was almost completely weaned off the respirator, and the nurse called me the day she died to tell me to bring her a slushie, her first "food" in 3 months. When I got there, she had a rapid heartbeat that the doctors thought was due to anxiety, but that night she passed away due to heart arrythmia. Although she was much older than your girls (about the same age as your Jessica would be), I feel like we went through almost the same thing. We have a 17 yr old daughter, and my husband has 3 kids from a previous marriage that are in their mid-20's. It is so hard to get through each day, but you have to keep on living, that's all you can do. Praying for you and your family.