A quick aside, I now have a Wordpress blog. It is completely off topic (as to this blog), being on negotiation. Having it will let me learn Wordpress (and I'm very open to comments and advice) and will also let me blog on a professional area that has been an interest of mine for a very long time without taking up space here.
http://srmarsh.com/ is the url for it (and adrr.com is my website covering my hobby).
For my core grief essays and background information you can visit Living which is where I wrote before I had a blog (and before there were blogs).
I had someone ask me why I lived life without food as a buffer if my emotions were so much stronger. Well, they are my emotions. More importantly, almost all of them are positive. Yes, I have some very strong grief days, and some where I am friable, but I have so many, many days where I am just so much happier and so much in love.
That was the best thing to discover, just how pleased I was with my wife, and how happy with my family, that I was feeling, but not in contact with. I'm so grateful to have those feelings in my life.
It is my life, they are my emotions and I'm grateful.
2 comments:
I complained to my sponsor once about my ever changing moods and she told me she'd read that it's more normal to have ups and downs than to always be in one mood.
I've never forgotten that. I'm not sure I'm glad to have a bad or sad mood, but at least I feel more normal.
If all you ever felt were pain, then I would say to numb your feelings. But if in feeling, you are able to work through feelings and get to where you do not hurt so much, then it I saw to feel. However, I say this knowing that there are things that are so hard for me to do that were I to do them that I might greatly improve. Pain and me do not mix well. But I am grateful that I often feel pleasure. When my disorder flares up, I cannot take pleasure in life. I have a lot of family to that I enjoy and am glad that despite the fact that I avoid many activities due to my problems and miss out on a lot that I still feel connected and still experience the joys of family. I am glad that you have not closed yourself to your family. One of the worst things is to have an emotionally distant spouse or parent. I hope what I said came across right.
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